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We are all empty houses, waiting for someone to open the lock and set us free.
There&rsquo;s something romantic about living on extremes. This applies as much to my film taste as it does to my day-to-day life. Nowhere is this more evident than in a crucial element of cinema - dialogues. On the one hand, you have Celine and Jesse showing us the entire world through their words, while on the other you have Sun and Tae doing the same thing without speaking a word.">
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<meta property="og:description" content="Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
We are all empty houses, waiting for someone to open the lock and set us free.
There&rsquo;s something romantic about living on extremes. This applies as much to my film taste as it does to my day-to-day life. Nowhere is this more evident than in a crucial element of cinema - dialogues. On the one hand, you have Celine and Jesse showing us the entire world through their words, while on the other you have Sun and Tae doing the same thing without speaking a word." />
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We are all empty houses, waiting for someone to open the lock and set us free.
There&rsquo;s something romantic about living on extremes. This applies as much to my film taste as it does to my day-to-day life. Nowhere is this more evident than in a crucial element of cinema - dialogues. On the one hand, you have Celine and Jesse showing us the entire world through their words, while on the other you have Sun and Tae doing the same thing without speaking a word."/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
3 Iron (2004): Impressions
</h1>
<div class="post-meta"><span title='2021-11-14 10:46:40 +0530 IST'>November 14, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p>Verdict: <!-- raw HTML omitted --> ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><a href="https://letterboxd.com/carte_blanche/film/3-iron/">Check it out on Letterboxd</a></p>
<hr>
<blockquote>
<p>We are all empty houses, waiting for someone to open the lock and set us free.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>There&rsquo;s something romantic about living on extremes. This applies as much to my film taste as it does to my day-to-day life. Nowhere is this more evident than in a crucial element of cinema - dialogues. On the one hand, you have Celine and Jesse showing us the entire world through their words, while on the other you have Sun and Tae doing the same thing without speaking a word. Both are equally satisfying for the soul.</p>
<p>A lovely introduction to the cinema of Kim Ki-Duk.</p>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (2011): Impressions
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2021-02-07 22:44:49 +0530 IST'>February 7, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p>Verdict: <!-- raw HTML omitted --> ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><a href="https://letterboxd.com/carte_blanche/film/once-upon-a-time-in-anatolia/">Check it out on Letterboxd</a></p>
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<p>A slow, methodical display of patience and absurdity juxtaposed on the vast landscape, this film has something else going for it. When you read the synopsis or look at the posters, you expect a certain police procedural drama - the kind of which you&rsquo;ve been accustomed to till date. What you get is a completely different take on the trope.</p>
<p>The cinematography seems out of this world, and the melancholic doctor only adds to the moodiness of the whole atmosphere. One little scene in the middle will remain in my heart for a long time.</p>
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<title>The Darjeeling Limited (2007) | The Lazy Oxymoron</title>
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<meta name="description" content="Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
You can spot Wes Anderson trademark from a mile ago, although this is the only movie by him which left me dissatisfied. The unique and swift camera movements are still there, the colors still pop out like from another universe, the absurd comic timings still bring a smile to your face - but you won&rsquo;t feel the kind of personal emotional investment into the characters like you would in the rest of his filmography.">
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<meta property="og:description" content="Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
You can spot Wes Anderson trademark from a mile ago, although this is the only movie by him which left me dissatisfied. The unique and swift camera movements are still there, the colors still pop out like from another universe, the absurd comic timings still bring a smile to your face - but you won&rsquo;t feel the kind of personal emotional investment into the characters like you would in the rest of his filmography." />
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You can spot Wes Anderson trademark from a mile ago, although this is the only movie by him which left me dissatisfied. The unique and swift camera movements are still there, the colors still pop out like from another universe, the absurd comic timings still bring a smile to your face - but you won&rsquo;t feel the kind of personal emotional investment into the characters like you would in the rest of his filmography."/>
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The Darjeeling Limited (2007)
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-03-04 23:01:15 +0530 IST'>March 4, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p>Verdict: <!-- raw HTML omitted --> ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
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<p>You can spot Wes Anderson trademark from a mile ago, although this is the only movie by him which left me dissatisfied. The unique and swift camera movements are still there, the colors still pop out like from another universe, the absurd comic timings still bring a smile to your face - but you won&rsquo;t feel the kind of personal emotional investment into the characters like you would in the rest of his filmography. Still, for a Wes Anderson fan, this would be a nice enough movie.</p>
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Anhedonia. The Wikipedia entry for this word says:
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Anhedonia. The Wikipedia entry for this word says:
a diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure.
At one point or another, we have all experienced some version of this phenomenon - may be characterized by an oversaturation of love, or caused by a prolonged mediocrity in life, or as in the case of our protagonist here, the complete loss of will and motivation to feel anything."/>
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"description": "Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Check it out on Letterboxd\n Anhedonia. The Wikipedia entry for this word says:\n a diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure.\n At one point or another, we have all experienced some version of this phenomenon - may be characterized by an oversaturation of love, or caused by a prolonged mediocrity in life, or as in the case of our protagonist here, the complete loss of will and motivation to feel anything.",
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"articleBody": "Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Check it out on Letterboxd\n Anhedonia. The Wikipedia entry for this word says:\n a diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure.\n At one point or another, we have all experienced some version of this phenomenon - may be characterized by an oversaturation of love, or caused by a prolonged mediocrity in life, or as in the case of our protagonist here, the complete loss of will and motivation to feel anything.\nThere’s something intriguing about the slice-of-life cinematic style - it doesn’t have a dramatic plot, no pulsating action or suspenseful storyline to keep us on the edge of our seats - and yet, I can’t seem to be able to leave the film to grab even a glass of water. Linklater is one of the masters of this style, keeping the viewers engaged via dialogues. Here, Joachim Trier opts for a more subtle approach of filmmaking, making us observe things rather than spoon-feeding us via expository dialogues. There are some powerful scenes scattered throughout the film. With the opening montage, we are absorbed into the old and beautiful city of Oslo, making us nostalgic about a place we’ve never been to. And then comes a powerful scene - we see the protagonist going for a walk into the forest, a shaky camera holding the inscrutable face of Anders in the frame. Once he reaches the lake, he fills up his jacket pockets with rocks and attempts to drown himself in the lake. The camera stays steady over the surface of the lake, instead of following him underwater, we shift in our seats - uncomfortable with anticipation. The tension resolves as we see Anders gasp out of the water and go back dejectedly towards his home. We learn that he’s a recovering addict, currently in an institution, and has suicidal tendencies.\nAll of this is shown without any soundtrack or dialogues.\nAnother scene that I found particularly powerful was the café scene. The way Anders selectively chooses to listen to particular conversations, especially a girl reciting her list of things she’d want to do over the course of her life, there’s a strong contrast between the girl’s (perhaps naive) optimism and Anders' pessimism for life. Anders has lost his ability to feel motivation or pleasure as he desperately looks for some way to remedy this. Anders' best friend quotes Proust during one of their discussions:\n Trying to understand desire by watching a nude woman is like a child taking apart a clock to understand time.\n Anders is trying to do exactly that, looking for some way to connect with the outside world without losing himself. There’s not a single pivotal moment in the film where one can say that this is where he stops trying, instead we see him increasingly spiraling out of the natural order and getting distant from the illusory ideal he was hoping for in the first half of the film. He hesitantly goes to a friend’s party, trying to achieve some normalcy in his otherwise fucked up life, but there he is reminded of the same old crowd of people who are miserable and unhappy with their lives and are trying to drown their sorrows with alcohol - and this reminder is too much for Anders. He begins to feel convinced that there’s no way for him to get out of this death spiral and begins to let go. There’s no hope left for him. During one of the last scenes, he goes to his ancestral home where he finds a house full of reminders of his happy past, tries for the last time to feel some emotion by playing the old piano but halts abruptly as it’s evident he has lost his emotional connection with this once-beloved playing like everything else. The last sigh we hear from him is the only way he knows of feeling something - drugs, as he lets go for the last time.\nThe depression of a lone man struggling with mental health issues is shown beautifully here, even though the conclusions are tragic. Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of recommendations to watch Scandinavian movies and I’ve been loving them! This film will go down as yet another one of the great, grounded movies about depression, addiction, and city life in my diary.\n Check out this review on Letterboxd\n",
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<div class="breadcrumbs"><a href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/">Home</a>&nbsp;»&nbsp;<a href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/">Posts</a></div>
<h1 class="post-title">
Oslo, August 31st (2011)
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-06-04 14:39:00 +0530 IST'>June 4, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p>Verdict: <!-- raw HTML omitted --> ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><a href="https://letterboxd.com/carte_blanche/film/oslo-august-31st/">Check it out on Letterboxd</a></p>
<hr>
<p><strong>Anhedonia</strong>. The Wikipedia entry for this word says:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>a diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>At one point or another, we have all experienced some version of this phenomenon - may be characterized by an oversaturation of love, or caused by a prolonged mediocrity in life, or as in the case of our protagonist here, the complete loss of will and motivation to feel anything.</p>
<p>There&rsquo;s something intriguing about the slice-of-life cinematic style - it doesn&rsquo;t have a dramatic plot, no pulsating action or suspenseful storyline to keep us on the edge of our seats - and yet, I can&rsquo;t seem to be able to leave the film to grab even a glass of water. Linklater is one of the masters of this style, keeping the viewers engaged via dialogues. Here, Joachim Trier opts for a more subtle approach of filmmaking, making us observe things rather than spoon-feeding us via expository dialogues. There are some powerful scenes scattered throughout the film. With the opening montage, we are absorbed into the old and beautiful city of Oslo, making us nostalgic about a place we&rsquo;ve never been to. And then comes a powerful scene - we see the protagonist going for a walk into the forest, a shaky camera holding the inscrutable face of Anders in the frame. Once he reaches the lake, he fills up his jacket pockets with rocks and attempts to drown himself in the lake. The camera stays steady over the surface of the lake, instead of following him underwater, we shift in our seats - uncomfortable with anticipation. The tension resolves as we see Anders gasp out of the water and go back dejectedly towards his home. We learn that he&rsquo;s a recovering addict, currently in an institution, and has suicidal tendencies.</p>
<p>All of this is shown without any soundtrack or dialogues.</p>
<p>Another scene that I found particularly powerful was the café scene. The way Anders selectively chooses to listen to particular conversations, especially a girl reciting her list of things she&rsquo;d want to do over the course of her life, there&rsquo;s a strong contrast between the girl&rsquo;s (perhaps naive) optimism and Anders' pessimism for life. Anders has lost his ability to feel motivation or pleasure as he desperately looks for some way to remedy this. Anders' best friend quotes Proust during one of their discussions:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Trying to understand desire by watching a nude woman is like a child taking apart a clock to understand time.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Anders is trying to do exactly that, looking for some way to connect with the outside world without losing himself. There&rsquo;s not a single pivotal moment in the film where one can say that this is where he stops trying, instead we see him increasingly spiraling out of the natural order and getting distant from the illusory ideal he was hoping for in the first half of the film. He hesitantly goes to a friend&rsquo;s party, trying to achieve some normalcy in his otherwise fucked up life, but there he is reminded of the same old crowd of people who are miserable and unhappy with their lives and are trying to drown their sorrows with alcohol - and this reminder is too much for Anders. He begins to feel convinced that there&rsquo;s no way for him to get out of this death spiral and begins to let go. There&rsquo;s no hope left for him. During one of the last scenes, he goes to his ancestral home where he finds a house full of reminders of his happy past, tries for the last time to feel some emotion by playing the old piano but halts abruptly as it&rsquo;s evident he has lost his emotional connection with this once-beloved playing like everything else. The last sigh we hear from him is the only way he knows of feeling something - drugs, as he lets go for the last time.</p>
<p>The depression of a lone man struggling with mental health issues is shown beautifully here, even though the conclusions are tragic. Lately, I&rsquo;ve been getting a lot of recommendations to watch Scandinavian movies and I&rsquo;ve been loving them! This film will go down as yet another one of the great, grounded movies about depression, addiction, and city life in my diary.</p>
<hr>
<p><a href="https://letterboxd.com/carte_blanche/film/oslo-august-31st/">Check out this review on Letterboxd</a></p>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Riding Solo to the Top of the World (2006)
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2021-01-03 22:53:01 +0530 IST'>January 3, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p>Verdict: <!-- raw HTML omitted --> ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><a href="https://letterboxd.com/carte_blanche/film/oslo-august-31st/">Check it out on Letterboxd</a></p>
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<p>Motorcycling community is laden with fist-pumping-muscle-bulging-neckbeardy-speed-ninjas-Harley-fans, and it usually gets a bad rap all across the world. Gaurav Jani is none of these things. His passion and humility and curious nature reminded me why I loved biking in the first place. This is a must-watch for anyone fascinated with two wheels and the places they enable you to visit.</p>
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<title>Waking Life (2001) | The Lazy Oxymoron</title>
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<meta name="description" content="Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
There are films which you wish you had watched earlier in life, and there are others which don&rsquo;t make sense until you have had your fair share of world experiences. Waking Life falls in the former category.
The college sophomore me would have been really excited about discussing vague notions of self and freedom and free will and morality and dreams - and don&rsquo;t get me wrong, mid-twenties me is equally as excited about these things as my former self, if not more so - but the problem lies in the superficiality of it all.">
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</noscript><meta property="og:title" content="Waking Life (2001)" />
<meta property="og:description" content="Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
There are films which you wish you had watched earlier in life, and there are others which don&rsquo;t make sense until you have had your fair share of world experiences. Waking Life falls in the former category.
The college sophomore me would have been really excited about discussing vague notions of self and freedom and free will and morality and dreams - and don&rsquo;t get me wrong, mid-twenties me is equally as excited about these things as my former self, if not more so - but the problem lies in the superficiality of it all." />
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<meta name="twitter:title" content="Waking Life (2001)"/>
<meta name="twitter:description" content="Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
There are films which you wish you had watched earlier in life, and there are others which don&rsquo;t make sense until you have had your fair share of world experiences. Waking Life falls in the former category.
The college sophomore me would have been really excited about discussing vague notions of self and freedom and free will and morality and dreams - and don&rsquo;t get me wrong, mid-twenties me is equally as excited about these things as my former self, if not more so - but the problem lies in the superficiality of it all."/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Waking Life (2001)
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-11-27 22:57:50 +0530 IST'>November 27, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p>Verdict: <!-- raw HTML omitted --> ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><a href="https://letterboxd.com/carte_blanche/film/waking-life/">Check it out on Letterboxd</a></p>
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<p>There are films which you wish you had watched earlier in life, and there are others which don&rsquo;t make sense until you have had your fair share of world experiences. Waking Life falls in the former category.</p>
<p>The college sophomore me would have been really excited about discussing vague notions of self and freedom and free will and morality and dreams - and don&rsquo;t get me wrong, mid-twenties me is equally as excited about these things as my former self, if not more so - but the problem lies in the superficiality of it all. Now that I&rsquo;ve had more nuanced discussions about these philosophical conundrums and have read a fair amount of academic literature, the surface level discussions here leave a lot to be desired.</p>
<p>Having said that, since I put Linklater on a pedestal, this by no means make it an average film. The visuals are cool, the animations are innovative and the ideas discussed, no matter how superficial, ultimately make you think and mull them over afterwards. That is more than what any filmmaker can aspire for and in the end, makes this a watch worthwhile for me.</p>
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Over the years, I have increasingly gravitated towards films where supposedly &ldquo;nothing happens&rdquo;. Characters talk, no attempt is made to instill a moral point into the minds of the audience, which is usually accompanied with long, patient shots of people existing in their environments. This was an excellent specimen of the same dish.
I had watched Once Upon a Time in Anatolia from the same director previously and much like films by Wes Anderson, I could immediately tell this was Ceylan&rsquo;s film right from the start, although these two directors could not be any more different.">
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Over the years, I have increasingly gravitated towards films where supposedly &ldquo;nothing happens&rdquo;. Characters talk, no attempt is made to instill a moral point into the minds of the audience, which is usually accompanied with long, patient shots of people existing in their environments. This was an excellent specimen of the same dish.
I had watched Once Upon a Time in Anatolia from the same director previously and much like films by Wes Anderson, I could immediately tell this was Ceylan&rsquo;s film right from the start, although these two directors could not be any more different." />
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<meta name="twitter:description" content="Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
Over the years, I have increasingly gravitated towards films where supposedly &ldquo;nothing happens&rdquo;. Characters talk, no attempt is made to instill a moral point into the minds of the audience, which is usually accompanied with long, patient shots of people existing in their environments. This was an excellent specimen of the same dish.
I had watched Once Upon a Time in Anatolia from the same director previously and much like films by Wes Anderson, I could immediately tell this was Ceylan&rsquo;s film right from the start, although these two directors could not be any more different."/>
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<div class="breadcrumbs"><a href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/">Home</a>&nbsp;»&nbsp;<a href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/">Posts</a></div>
<h1 class="post-title">
Winter Sleep (2014)
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2021-03-15 21:30:40 +0530 IST'>March 15, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p>Verdict: <!-- raw HTML omitted --> ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ <!-- raw HTML omitted --></p>
<p><a href="https://letterboxd.com/carte_blanche/film/winter-sleep/">Check it out on Letterboxd</a></p>
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<p>Over the years, I have increasingly gravitated towards films where supposedly &ldquo;nothing happens&rdquo;. Characters talk, no attempt is made to instill a moral point into the minds of the audience, which is usually accompanied with long, patient shots of people existing in their environments. This was an excellent specimen of the same dish.</p>
<p>I had watched <a href="https://letterboxd.com/film/once-upon-a-time-in-anatolia/"><em><strong>Once Upon a Time in Anatolia</strong></em></a> from the same director previously and much like films by Wes Anderson, I could immediately tell this was Ceylan&rsquo;s film right from the start, although these two directors could not be any more different. The way Ceylan deals with landscapes and how people co-exist with nature is simply breathtaking. Alas, I neither have the vocabulary nor the expertise to appreciate much less dissect a film like this, but let these screenings be my own private film school and I hope that at the end of this year (which I&rsquo;ve dedicated to watching foreign language films only), I would at least be in a position where I can better appreciate these masters of their crafts.</p>
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Deference vs. Indifference There used to be a time
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Deference vs. Indifference There used to be a time
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I&rsquo;d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,
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There used to be a time
when I used to love the aroma
of the stick when it burned,
lighting up my day with the secret enchantments," />
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Deference vs. Indifference There used to be a time
when things used to be simple.
I&rsquo;d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,
And pray that He will continue to guide me
as He had done the previous day.
There used to be a time
when I used to love the aroma
of the stick when it burned,
lighting up my day with the secret enchantments,"/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Deference vs. Indifference
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2019-03-15 22:27:30 +0530 IST'>March 15, 2019</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<hr>
<h2 id="deference-vs-indifference">Deference vs. Indifference<a hidden class="anchor" aria-hidden="true" href="#deference-vs-indifference">#</a></h2>
<p>There used to be a time<br>
when things used to be simple.<br>
I&rsquo;d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,<br>
And pray that He will continue to guide me<br>
as He had done the previous day.<br>
There used to be a time<br>
when I used to love the aroma<br>
of the stick when it burned,<br>
lighting up my day with the secret enchantments,<br>
as if the secrecy itself was the source of my happiness.</p>
<p>There used to be a time<br>
when coming home after a bad day,<br>
I&rsquo;d sit on my bed and join my hands and close my eyes<br>
and quietly shed a tear.<br>
The statues didn&rsquo;t move or speak or whisper,<br>
but I felt assured that somehow those little stones<br>
were the only ones who listened to me<br>
and answered back.</p>
<p>But now,<br>
I wake up and lie on my bed for hours,<br>
watching the fan complete circles after circles after circles,<br>
as if I was stuck in the middle while everyone else around me<br>
kept going through life as if it was such an easy task.<br>
But now,<br>
The smell of the burning stick nauseates my senses,<br>
the secret spells make me mad,<br>
the constant enchantings feel as if someone lit a person on fire<br>
while they were sleeping.<br>
But now,<br>
when I come back home after a bad day,<br>
to the empty apartment echoing with silence so loud<br>
I worry my neighbors will start complaining -<br>
Even crying for hours doesn&rsquo;t help.</p>
<p>Sometimes I think,<br>
what use is consciousness<br>
if it doesn&rsquo;t make you happy but slowly takes away<br>
whatever little sanity you had left<br>
second by second.<br>
Sometimes I worry,<br>
Did I make a mistake in choosing not to follow blindly?<br>
Does asking questions that nobody has answers to<br>
makes me more alive<br>
or merely leaves me more broken and naive and stupid?<br>
Is ignorance really bliss?</p>
<p>I still go to churches and mosques and temples,<br>
the difference being it was deference before,<br>
and now it&rsquo;s curiosity about the people who go there<br>
and indifference to the thing they pray to.</p>
<p>Sometimes I wonder,<br>
There really is no answer, is there?</p>
<hr>
<p>A poem I wrote when I had troubles accepting myself. Still do, to be honest.</p>
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<h1 class="post-title">
A Beautiful Woman
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-06-09 17:26:51 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<p>I don&rsquo;t know why, but I liked the eyes-only version more. Linked below is the work-in-progress sketch:</p>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Charlie Chaplin (um... not quite)
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-06-09 17:01:36 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha
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<p>I was either on acid or I had watched a sad movie before attempting this piece. A strange juxtaposition of Chaplin and Hitler.</p>
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Einstein
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-06-09 17:14:48 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<p>I have a particular affinity towards this sketch as I was very apprehensive about attempting Einstein, his face had much more complexity than what I usually dealt with, but it turned out good enough in the end.</p>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Gandhi
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-06-09 16:51:23 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<p>My first attempt at drawing after dabbling in caricature pieces in my childhood :)</p>
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Martin Freeman
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-06-09 17:20:16 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<p>I used to be obsessed with Sherlock (the HBO show) during the time it aired, and part of my fascination was with Martin Freeman here, who so brilliantly played the role of Watson.</p>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Mother Teresa
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-06-09 17:09:43 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha
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<p>Completely botched this drawing, but it reminds me of the drawing streak I used to have back when I was in my hometown during college vacations.</p>
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<h1>Posts</h1>
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<h2>3 Iron (2004): Impressions
</h2>
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<section class="entry-content">
<p>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
We are all empty houses, waiting for someone to open the lock and set us free.
There’s something romantic about living on extremes. This applies as much to my film taste as it does to my day-to-day life. Nowhere is this more evident than in a crucial element of cinema - dialogues. On the one hand, you have Celine and Jesse showing us the entire world through their words, while on the other you have Sun and Tae doing the same thing without speaking a word....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2021-11-14 10:46:40 +0530 IST'>November 14, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to 3 Iron (2004): Impressions" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/3-iron/"></a>
</article>
<article class="post-entry">
<header class="entry-header">
<h2>The Way We Eat: Why Our Food Choices Matter
</h2>
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<section class="entry-content">
<p>Check it out on Goodreads
Ethics is hard.
If I’ve learnt something all these years, it is this universal maxim. Everybody wishes they’d make ethically sound choices in their lives, but more often than not, ethical choices are in contrast with cost and convenience. Nowhere is this more apparent than the way we consume food.
There are a lot of similarities between food and religion. Both are deeply personal choices which are erroneously thought of as having a clear, set winning answer....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2021-09-01 10:43:25 +0530 IST'>September 1, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to The Way We Eat: Why Our Food Choices Matter" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/the-way-we-eat/"></a>
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<article class="post-entry">
<header class="entry-header">
<h2>Shame by Salman Rushdie - A Review
</h2>
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<section class="entry-content">
<p>Check it out on Goodreads
Now that I’ve moved away from reading fiction, I find that I face a lot of inertia to pick up something purely for pleasure. Maybe this is a nasty by-product of wanting to be as “productive” as possible. But the more I have drifted away from reading for pleasure, more mechanical the whole process has become for me. Partly to avoid this feeling, and partly because of my shame at seeing my bookshelf filled with dusty unread books, I picked up this one to assuage my feelings of guilt....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2021-08-17 22:55:02 +0530 IST'>August 17, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Shame by Salman Rushdie - A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/shame-rushdie/"></a>
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<header class="entry-header">
<h2>What I Talk About When I Talk About Running: Haruki Murakami - A Review
</h2>
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<section class="entry-content">
<p>Check it out on Goodreads
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
I have no affinity for running, even for short jogs, and much less for wanting to run long distances. Although this is not because I hate exercises - one of those rare things that I figured out early in life was my desire to remain healthy as long as possible and that of course means I need to keep myself fit - but probably my distaste for running stems from the monotonous nature of the activity....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2021-08-14 20:09:56 +0530 IST'>August 14, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to What I Talk About When I Talk About Running: Haruki Murakami - A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/running-murakami/"></a>
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<article class="post-entry">
<header class="entry-header">
<h2>Annihilation of Caste(Annotated Edition): A Review
</h2>
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<section class="entry-content">
<p>Check it out on Goodreads
I find India really fascinating sometimes, even though I’ve lived my whole life here. What the cultural multitudes and colorful festivals hide underneath is an ugly facade which threatens to break everything that has been built over the years. What I find most fascinating is how we’ve conditioned ourselves to ignore the blatant reality and move ahead with an oblivious calm, living in shit and aspiring for the gold....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2021-07-23 22:56:47 +0530 IST'>July 23, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;3 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Annihilation of Caste(Annotated Edition): A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/annihilation-of-caste/"></a>
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<article class="post-entry">
<header class="entry-header">
<h2>Parenting Beyond Belief: A Review
</h2>
</header>
<section class="entry-content">
<p>Check it out on Goodreads
I have had a very curious relationship with religion, although now that I talk to others, it was a much more normal experience than what I led myself to believe. I followed the typical path of receiving a particular religion from my parents (born a “Hindu child”), which had a supporting role in my life up until my late-teenage/early-adolescent years.
As is the norm for every child brought up in religion, I used to consider myself special believing that I had a “personal relationship” with God....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2021-03-18 22:14:21 +0530 IST'>March 18, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Parenting Beyond Belief: A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/parenting/"></a>
</article>
<article class="post-entry">
<header class="entry-header">
<h2>Winter Sleep (2014)
</h2>
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<section class="entry-content">
<p>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
Over the years, I have increasingly gravitated towards films where supposedly “nothing happens”. Characters talk, no attempt is made to instill a moral point into the minds of the audience, which is usually accompanied with long, patient shots of people existing in their environments. This was an excellent specimen of the same dish.
I had watched Once Upon a Time in Anatolia from the same director previously and much like films by Wes Anderson, I could immediately tell this was Ceylan’s film right from the start, although these two directors could not be any more different....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2021-03-15 21:30:40 +0530 IST'>March 15, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Winter Sleep (2014)" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/winter-sleep/"></a>
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<article class="post-entry">
<header class="entry-header">
<h2>Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (2011): Impressions
</h2>
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<section class="entry-content">
<p>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Check it out on Letterboxd
A slow, methodical display of patience and absurdity juxtaposed on the vast landscape, this film has something else going for it. When you read the synopsis or look at the posters, you expect a certain police procedural drama - the kind of which you’ve been accustomed to till date. What you get is a completely different take on the trope....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2021-02-07 22:44:49 +0530 IST'>February 7, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (2011): Impressions" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/anatolia/"></a>
</article>
<article class="post-entry">
<header class="entry-header">
<h2>Riding Solo to the Top of the World (2006)
</h2>
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<p>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
Motorcycling community is laden with fist-pumping-muscle-bulging-neckbeardy-speed-ninjas-Harley-fans, and it usually gets a bad rap all across the world. Gaurav Jani is none of these things. His passion and humility and curious nature reminded me why I loved biking in the first place. This is a must-watch for anyone fascinated with two wheels and the places they enable you to visit....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2021-01-03 22:53:01 +0530 IST'>January 3, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Riding Solo to the Top of the World (2006)" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/riding-solo/"></a>
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<header class="entry-header">
<h2>Waking Life (2001)
</h2>
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<p>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
There are films which you wish you had watched earlier in life, and there are others which don’t make sense until you have had your fair share of world experiences. Waking Life falls in the former category.
The college sophomore me would have been really excited about discussing vague notions of self and freedom and free will and morality and dreams - and don’t get me wrong, mid-twenties me is equally as excited about these things as my former self, if not more so - but the problem lies in the superficiality of it all....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-11-27 22:57:50 +0530 IST'>November 27, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Waking Life (2001)" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/waking-life/"></a>
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<title>Posts on The Lazy Oxymoron</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/</link>
<description>Recent content in Posts on The Lazy Oxymoron</description>
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<item>
<title>3 Iron (2004): Impressions</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/3-iron/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 14 Nov 2021 10:46:40 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/3-iron/</guid>
<description>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
We are all empty houses, waiting for someone to open the lock and set us free.
There&amp;rsquo;s something romantic about living on extremes. This applies as much to my film taste as it does to my day-to-day life. Nowhere is this more evident than in a crucial element of cinema - dialogues. On the one hand, you have Celine and Jesse showing us the entire world through their words, while on the other you have Sun and Tae doing the same thing without speaking a word.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Way We Eat: Why Our Food Choices Matter</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/the-way-we-eat/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2021 10:43:25 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/the-way-we-eat/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
Ethics is hard.
If I&amp;rsquo;ve learnt something all these years, it is this universal maxim. Everybody wishes they&amp;rsquo;d make ethically sound choices in their lives, but more often than not, ethical choices are in contrast with cost and convenience. Nowhere is this more apparent than the way we consume food.
There are a lot of similarities between food and religion. Both are deeply personal choices which are erroneously thought of as having a clear, set winning answer.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Shame by Salman Rushdie - A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/shame-rushdie/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 17 Aug 2021 22:55:02 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/shame-rushdie/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
Now that I&amp;rsquo;ve moved away from reading fiction, I find that I face a lot of inertia to pick up something purely for pleasure. Maybe this is a nasty by-product of wanting to be as &amp;ldquo;productive&amp;rdquo; as possible. But the more I have drifted away from reading for pleasure, more mechanical the whole process has become for me. Partly to avoid this feeling, and partly because of my shame at seeing my bookshelf filled with dusty unread books, I picked up this one to assuage my feelings of guilt.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>What I Talk About When I Talk About Running: Haruki Murakami - A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/running-murakami/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 14 Aug 2021 20:09:56 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/running-murakami/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
I have no affinity for running, even for short jogs, and much less for wanting to run long distances. Although this is not because I hate exercises - one of those rare things that I figured out early in life was my desire to remain healthy as long as possible and that of course means I need to keep myself fit - but probably my distaste for running stems from the monotonous nature of the activity.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Annihilation of Caste(Annotated Edition): A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/annihilation-of-caste/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 23 Jul 2021 22:56:47 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/annihilation-of-caste/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
I find India really fascinating sometimes, even though I&amp;rsquo;ve lived my whole life here. What the cultural multitudes and colorful festivals hide underneath is an ugly facade which threatens to break everything that has been built over the years. What I find most fascinating is how we&amp;rsquo;ve conditioned ourselves to ignore the blatant reality and move ahead with an oblivious calm, living in shit and aspiring for the gold.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Parenting Beyond Belief: A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/parenting/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 18 Mar 2021 22:14:21 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/parenting/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
I have had a very curious relationship with religion, although now that I talk to others, it was a much more normal experience than what I led myself to believe. I followed the typical path of receiving a particular religion from my parents (born a &amp;ldquo;Hindu child&amp;rdquo;), which had a supporting role in my life up until my late-teenage/early-adolescent years.
As is the norm for every child brought up in religion, I used to consider myself special believing that I had a &amp;ldquo;personal relationship&amp;rdquo; with God.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Winter Sleep (2014)</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/winter-sleep/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 15 Mar 2021 21:30:40 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/winter-sleep/</guid>
<description>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
Over the years, I have increasingly gravitated towards films where supposedly &amp;ldquo;nothing happens&amp;rdquo;. Characters talk, no attempt is made to instill a moral point into the minds of the audience, which is usually accompanied with long, patient shots of people existing in their environments. This was an excellent specimen of the same dish.
I had watched Once Upon a Time in Anatolia from the same director previously and much like films by Wes Anderson, I could immediately tell this was Ceylan&amp;rsquo;s film right from the start, although these two directors could not be any more different.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (2011): Impressions</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/anatolia/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 07 Feb 2021 22:44:49 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/anatolia/</guid>
<description>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Check it out on Letterboxd
A slow, methodical display of patience and absurdity juxtaposed on the vast landscape, this film has something else going for it. When you read the synopsis or look at the posters, you expect a certain police procedural drama - the kind of which you&amp;rsquo;ve been accustomed to till date. What you get is a completely different take on the trope.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Riding Solo to the Top of the World (2006)</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/riding-solo/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 03 Jan 2021 22:53:01 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/riding-solo/</guid>
<description>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
Motorcycling community is laden with fist-pumping-muscle-bulging-neckbeardy-speed-ninjas-Harley-fans, and it usually gets a bad rap all across the world. Gaurav Jani is none of these things. His passion and humility and curious nature reminded me why I loved biking in the first place. This is a must-watch for anyone fascinated with two wheels and the places they enable you to visit.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Waking Life (2001)</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/waking-life/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 27 Nov 2020 22:57:50 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/waking-life/</guid>
<description>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
There are films which you wish you had watched earlier in life, and there are others which don&amp;rsquo;t make sense until you have had your fair share of world experiences. Waking Life falls in the former category.
The college sophomore me would have been really excited about discussing vague notions of self and freedom and free will and morality and dreams - and don&amp;rsquo;t get me wrong, mid-twenties me is equally as excited about these things as my former self, if not more so - but the problem lies in the superficiality of it all.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Azadi by Arundhati Roy: A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/azadi/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2020 22:22:13 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/azadi/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
I don&amp;rsquo;t have a lot of friends who are supporters of the ruling BJP (well at least the ones who have disclosed it publicly), and consequently whenever the conversation shifts towards the ongoings in India, more often than not, we find ourselves agreeing with each other. Although this is perfectly alright for me on most days, on few ocaasions, I find a shadow of a doubt slowly creeping up inside - what if I&amp;rsquo;m living inside a bubble, an echo-chamber where I only get exposed to the ideas which I already hold to be true, especially relevant now that everything in our lives are getting regulated by algorithms.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Stoner: A Novel</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/stoner/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 28 Jun 2020 19:45:36 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/stoner/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
Reading fiction has always been a double-edged sword for me. Some of the most intimate moments I&amp;rsquo;ve spent alone is while reading fictional stories, while at the same time, feeling a pang of disappointment for myself because I wasn&amp;rsquo;t doing anything &amp;ldquo;productive.&amp;rdquo; Is this mere entertainment? Am I just escaping my real-life responsibilities and reading stories of make-believe? While I still haven&amp;rsquo;t found sincere answers to these questions, I&amp;rsquo;ve grown more confident of what I enjoy and what I don&amp;rsquo;t, which has consequently helped me find peace with this conflict.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>A Beautiful Woman</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/a-beautiful-woman/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2020 17:26:51 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/a-beautiful-woman/</guid>
<description>I don&amp;rsquo;t know why, but I liked the eyes-only version more. Linked below is the work-in-progress sketch:</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Martin Freeman</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/martin-freeman/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2020 17:20:16 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/martin-freeman/</guid>
<description>I used to be obsessed with Sherlock (the HBO show) during the time it aired, and part of my fascination was with Martin Freeman here, who so brilliantly played the role of Watson.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Einstein</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/einstein/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2020 17:14:48 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/einstein/</guid>
<description>I have a particular affinity towards this sketch as I was very apprehensive about attempting Einstein, his face had much more complexity than what I usually dealt with, but it turned out good enough in the end.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Mother Teresa</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/teresa/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2020 17:09:43 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/teresa/</guid>
<description>Completely botched this drawing, but it reminds me of the drawing streak I used to have back when I was in my hometown during college vacations.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Charlie Chaplin (um... not quite)</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/chaplin/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2020 17:01:36 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/chaplin/</guid>
<description>I was either on acid or I had watched a sad movie before attempting this piece. A strange juxtaposition of Chaplin and Hitler.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Gandhi</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/gandhi/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2020 16:51:23 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/gandhi/</guid>
<description>My first attempt at drawing after dabbling in caricature pieces in my childhood :)</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Oslo, August 31st (2011)</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/oslo-august/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 04 Jun 2020 14:39:00 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/oslo-august/</guid>
<description>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Check it out on Letterboxd
Anhedonia. The Wikipedia entry for this word says:
a diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure.
At one point or another, we have all experienced some version of this phenomenon - may be characterized by an oversaturation of love, or caused by a prolonged mediocrity in life, or as in the case of our protagonist here, the complete loss of will and motivation to feel anything.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Bad Blood: A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/bad-blood/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 01 May 2020 23:39:18 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/bad-blood/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
How to fool the world and become a Billionaire I remember hearing about Elizabeth Holmes when I was in my late teens, at that impressionable age when you get hyper-inspired by reading about icons that are going to change the world. There was a profile of her in Wired, with an eye-catching image of her wearing a turtleneck black sweater holding what looked like a test-tube with a tiny amount of blood with a science-y background.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Fear</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/scared-in-lockdown/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 25 Apr 2020 23:45:30 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/scared-in-lockdown/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Instagram
I&amp;rsquo;m scared.
No, not because there&amp;rsquo;s a pandemic going on,
even though that itself is enough
to make one lose their mind.
There&amp;rsquo;s another deadly virus crawling
its way into my whole being.
Slowly eating away at my sanity,
feasting on my thoughts,
mutating inside my head as if a colony of ants was given
an open invitation to a room full of sugary syrup.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Waking Up: A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/waking-up/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 15 Apr 2020 23:31:08 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/waking-up/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
A disappointing jumble of thoughts Disappointed.
I am an atheist interested in the power of mindfulness and the whole world of so-called spirituality, so naturally, I am the ideal audience that Sam Harris is looking for. But it disappointed in almost every domain that I had expectations in. Using deep-sounding difficult words and wrapping them in an almost mythical aura of &amp;ldquo;Consciousness&amp;rdquo;, this one was a huge letdown.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Glimpses of World History: A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/glimpses-of-world-history/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 12 Mar 2020 23:23:19 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/glimpses-of-world-history/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
World history in a nutshell More than 1100 pages, this behemoth of a book still fails to capture the whole essence of world history - and rightly so. How can you combine over 2000 years of human history and still do justice to every element? But the unique manner in which this book - or more appropriately, collection of letters - has been written, it shines brightly amongst the plethora of history books you can find on this vast subject of world history.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Darjeeling Limited (2007)</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/darjeeling/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 04 Mar 2020 23:01:15 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/darjeeling/</guid>
<description>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
You can spot Wes Anderson trademark from a mile ago, although this is the only movie by him which left me dissatisfied. The unique and swift camera movements are still there, the colors still pop out like from another universe, the absurd comic timings still bring a smile to your face - but you won&amp;rsquo;t feel the kind of personal emotional investment into the characters like you would in the rest of his filmography.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Reasons to Stay Alive: A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/reasons-to-stay-alive/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 28 Jan 2020 22:28:18 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/reasons-to-stay-alive/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
Reasons you should read this book:
If you&amp;rsquo;ve ever had a panic attack. If you&amp;rsquo;ve ever counted the number of times the ceiling fan rotates, just so you could avoid dealing with the endless voices in your head. If you&amp;rsquo;ve ever felt ashamed to admit that you might be suffering from the D-word. If reading about personal stories of how people overcame their mental illnesses soothes you.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>How to Listen to and Understand Great Music: A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/great-music/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jan 2020 22:05:06 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/great-music/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
I have been a lover of music since my early childhood - runs in the family - and have imitated and performed songs (mostly inside my own head) on numerous occasions. Despite this lifelong love affair with music of all kinds, there was one particular genre of music that always baffled me. Mostly because of my own ignorance, but partially also because nobody else was talking about it.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst - A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/behave-review/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 12 Sep 2019 20:12:10 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/behave-review/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
There are few books which leave you in a mesmerizing state after having read them. You ponder about it for days to come, want to scream your head off about it to anyone who&amp;rsquo;d listen, and then dwell in this fear of picking up another book because how can something else ever come close to being this perfect! I have felt this way before - first when I&amp;rsquo;d finished The Complete Sherlock Holmes, later when I was left in a daze for multiple days after finishing the notorious and brilliant House of Leaves, and much more recently when I was unable to sleep after reading Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Range by David Epstein: A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/range-a-review/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 05 Sep 2019 00:16:14 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/range-a-review/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
Started with a tightly-knit structure, but faltered at the end. The last few chapters were a slog to get through - mostly because of numerous &amp;ldquo;business-class&amp;rdquo; style case studies.
Main takeaway? Other than the central idea around which the book revolves (and succinctly mentioned as the book subtitle too), the idea of interleaving is what struck me the most. I had already read about this particular method in Michael Nielsen&amp;rsquo;s brilliant post on Anki (&amp;ldquo;Augmenting Long-term Memory&amp;rdquo;) and it was interesting to read about it formally in the book.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>Deference vs. Indifference</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/deference-vs-indifference/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 15 Mar 2019 22:27:30 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/deference-vs-indifference/</guid>
<description>(See this picture on Flickr)
Deference vs. Indifference There used to be a time
when things used to be simple.
I&amp;rsquo;d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,
And pray that He will continue to guide me
as He had done the previous day.
There used to be a time
when I used to love the aroma
of the stick when it burned,
lighting up my day with the secret enchantments,</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Course of Love : A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/the-course-of-love/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 14 Feb 2019 20:21:45 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/the-course-of-love/</guid>
<description>Check it out on Goodreads
The School of Life - a massively popular YouTube channel - used to be this source of solace in some turbulent times of my college life. It is not something that you&amp;rsquo;d think would be cheerful and uplifting - a quick glance at some of the most popular videos of the channel would include titles such as &amp;ldquo;Why we go cold on our partners&amp;rdquo;, &amp;ldquo;Why you will marry the wrong person&amp;rdquo; etc.</description>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Stranger and The Plague: A Review</title>
<link>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/the-stranger-and-the-plague-a-review/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2019 14:39:14 +0530</pubDate>
<guid>https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/the-stranger-and-the-plague-a-review/</guid>
<description>On my journey to learn more about philosophy - the first step into the realms of existentialism</description>
</item>
</channel>
</rss>

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<h2>Azadi by Arundhati Roy: A Review
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<p>Check it out on Goodreads
I don’t have a lot of friends who are supporters of the ruling BJP (well at least the ones who have disclosed it publicly), and consequently whenever the conversation shifts towards the ongoings in India, more often than not, we find ourselves agreeing with each other. Although this is perfectly alright for me on most days, on few ocaasions, I find a shadow of a doubt slowly creeping up inside - what if I’m living inside a bubble, an echo-chamber where I only get exposed to the ideas which I already hold to be true, especially relevant now that everything in our lives are getting regulated by algorithms....</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-09-30 22:22:13 +0530 IST'>September 30, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Azadi by Arundhati Roy: A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/azadi/"></a>
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<h2>Stoner: A Novel
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<p>Check it out on Goodreads
Reading fiction has always been a double-edged sword for me. Some of the most intimate moments I’ve spent alone is while reading fictional stories, while at the same time, feeling a pang of disappointment for myself because I wasn’t doing anything “productive.” Is this mere entertainment? Am I just escaping my real-life responsibilities and reading stories of make-believe? While I still haven’t found sincere answers to these questions, I’ve grown more confident of what I enjoy and what I don’t, which has consequently helped me find peace with this conflict....</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-06-28 19:45:36 +0530 IST'>June 28, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;5 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Stoner: A Novel" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/stoner/"></a>
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<h2>A Beautiful Woman
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<p>I don’t know why, but I liked the eyes-only version more. Linked below is the work-in-progress sketch:</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-06-09 17:26:51 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to A Beautiful Woman" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/a-beautiful-woman/"></a>
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<h2>Martin Freeman
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<p>I used to be obsessed with Sherlock (the HBO show) during the time it aired, and part of my fascination was with Martin Freeman here, who so brilliantly played the role of Watson.</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-06-09 17:20:16 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Martin Freeman" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/martin-freeman/"></a>
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<h2>Einstein
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<p>I have a particular affinity towards this sketch as I was very apprehensive about attempting Einstein, his face had much more complexity than what I usually dealt with, but it turned out good enough in the end.</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-06-09 17:14:48 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Einstein" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/einstein/"></a>
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<h2>Mother Teresa
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<p>Completely botched this drawing, but it reminds me of the drawing streak I used to have back when I was in my hometown during college vacations.</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-06-09 17:09:43 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Mother Teresa" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/teresa/"></a>
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<h2>Charlie Chaplin (um... not quite)
</h2>
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<p>I was either on acid or I had watched a sad movie before attempting this piece. A strange juxtaposition of Chaplin and Hitler.</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-06-09 17:01:36 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Charlie Chaplin (um... not quite)" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/chaplin/"></a>
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<h2>Gandhi
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<p>My first attempt at drawing after dabbling in caricature pieces in my childhood :)</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-06-09 16:51:23 +0530 IST'>June 9, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Gandhi" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/drawings/gandhi/"></a>
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<article class="post-entry">
<header class="entry-header">
<h2>Oslo, August 31st (2011)
</h2>
</header>
<section class="entry-content">
<p>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Check it out on Letterboxd
Anhedonia. The Wikipedia entry for this word says:
a diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure.
At one point or another, we have all experienced some version of this phenomenon - may be characterized by an oversaturation of love, or caused by a prolonged mediocrity in life, or as in the case of our protagonist here, the complete loss of will and motivation to feel anything....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-06-04 14:39:00 +0530 IST'>June 4, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Oslo, August 31st (2011)" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/oslo-august/"></a>
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<h2>Bad Blood: A Review
</h2>
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<section class="entry-content">
<p>Check it out on Goodreads
How to fool the world and become a Billionaire I remember hearing about Elizabeth Holmes when I was in my late teens, at that impressionable age when you get hyper-inspired by reading about icons that are going to change the world. There was a profile of her in Wired, with an eye-catching image of her wearing a turtleneck black sweater holding what looked like a test-tube with a tiny amount of blood with a science-y background....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-05-01 23:39:18 +0530 IST'>May 1, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Bad Blood: A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/bad-blood/"></a>
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<h2>Fear
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<p>Check it out on Instagram
I’m scared.
No, not because there’s a pandemic going on,
even though that itself is enough
to make one lose their mind.
There’s another deadly virus crawling
its way into my whole being.
Slowly eating away at my sanity,
feasting on my thoughts,
mutating inside my head as if a colony of ants was given
an open invitation to a room full of sugary syrup....</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-04-25 23:45:30 +0530 IST'>April 25, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
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<h2>Waking Up: A Review
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<p>Check it out on Goodreads
A disappointing jumble of thoughts Disappointed.
I am an atheist interested in the power of mindfulness and the whole world of so-called spirituality, so naturally, I am the ideal audience that Sam Harris is looking for. But it disappointed in almost every domain that I had expectations in. Using deep-sounding difficult words and wrapping them in an almost mythical aura of “Consciousness”, this one was a huge letdown....</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-04-15 23:31:08 +0530 IST'>April 15, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
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<h2>Glimpses of World History: A Review
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<p>Check it out on Goodreads
World history in a nutshell More than 1100 pages, this behemoth of a book still fails to capture the whole essence of world history - and rightly so. How can you combine over 2000 years of human history and still do justice to every element? But the unique manner in which this book - or more appropriately, collection of letters - has been written, it shines brightly amongst the plethora of history books you can find on this vast subject of world history....</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-03-12 23:23:19 +0530 IST'>March 12, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
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<h2>The Darjeeling Limited (2007)
</h2>
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<p>Verdict: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Check it out on Letterboxd
You can spot Wes Anderson trademark from a mile ago, although this is the only movie by him which left me dissatisfied. The unique and swift camera movements are still there, the colors still pop out like from another universe, the absurd comic timings still bring a smile to your face - but you won’t feel the kind of personal emotional investment into the characters like you would in the rest of his filmography....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-03-04 23:01:15 +0530 IST'>March 4, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to The Darjeeling Limited (2007)" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/cinema/darjeeling/"></a>
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<h2>Reasons to Stay Alive: A Review
</h2>
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<p>Check it out on Goodreads
Reasons you should read this book:
If you’ve ever had a panic attack. If you’ve ever counted the number of times the ceiling fan rotates, just so you could avoid dealing with the endless voices in your head. If you’ve ever felt ashamed to admit that you might be suffering from the D-word. If reading about personal stories of how people overcame their mental illnesses soothes you....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-01-28 22:28:18 +0530 IST'>January 28, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Reasons to Stay Alive: A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/reasons-to-stay-alive/"></a>
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<h2>How to Listen to and Understand Great Music: A Review
</h2>
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<p>Check it out on Goodreads
I have been a lover of music since my early childhood - runs in the family - and have imitated and performed songs (mostly inside my own head) on numerous occasions. Despite this lifelong love affair with music of all kinds, there was one particular genre of music that always baffled me. Mostly because of my own ignorance, but partially also because nobody else was talking about it....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2020-01-16 22:05:06 +0530 IST'>January 16, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to How to Listen to and Understand Great Music: A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/great-music/"></a>
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<h2>Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst - A Review
</h2>
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<p>Check it out on Goodreads
There are few books which leave you in a mesmerizing state after having read them. You ponder about it for days to come, want to scream your head off about it to anyone who’d listen, and then dwell in this fear of picking up another book because how can something else ever come close to being this perfect! I have felt this way before - first when I’d finished The Complete Sherlock Holmes, later when I was left in a daze for multiple days after finishing the notorious and brilliant House of Leaves, and much more recently when I was unable to sleep after reading Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2019-09-12 20:12:10 +0530 IST'>September 12, 2019</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;6 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst - A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/behave-review/"></a>
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<h2>Range by David Epstein: A Review
</h2>
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<p>Check it out on Goodreads
Started with a tightly-knit structure, but faltered at the end. The last few chapters were a slog to get through - mostly because of numerous “business-class” style case studies.
Main takeaway? Other than the central idea around which the book revolves (and succinctly mentioned as the book subtitle too), the idea of interleaving is what struck me the most. I had already read about this particular method in Michael Nielsen’s brilliant post on Anki (“Augmenting Long-term Memory”) and it was interesting to read about it formally in the book....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2019-09-05 00:16:14 +0530 IST'>September 5, 2019</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Range by David Epstein: A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/range-a-review/"></a>
</article>
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<header class="entry-header">
<h2>Deference vs. Indifference
</h2>
</header>
<section class="entry-content">
<p>(See this picture on Flickr)
Deference vs. Indifference There used to be a time
when things used to be simple.
I’d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,
And pray that He will continue to guide me
as He had done the previous day.
There used to be a time
when I used to love the aroma
of the stick when it burned,
lighting up my day with the secret enchantments,...</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2019-03-15 22:27:30 +0530 IST'>March 15, 2019</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to Deference vs. Indifference" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/deference-vs-indifference/"></a>
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<h2>The Course of Love : A Review
</h2>
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<p>Check it out on Goodreads
The School of Life - a massively popular YouTube channel - used to be this source of solace in some turbulent times of my college life. It is not something that you’d think would be cheerful and uplifting - a quick glance at some of the most popular videos of the channel would include titles such as “Why we go cold on our partners”, “Why you will marry the wrong person” etc....</p>
</section>
<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2019-02-14 20:21:45 +0530 IST'>February 14, 2019</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;3 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
<a class="entry-link" aria-label="post link to The Course of Love : A Review" href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/reading/the-course-of-love/"></a>
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<p>Preamble Philosophy has always been one of those baffling things that entice you at first by its simplicity, but as you get sucked into it more and more, you find yourself searching for the end of this labyrinthine landscape. I had my first exposure to anything related to philosophy in my second year of college when I stumbled upon The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. At the time, it was one of the fascinating books I had ever read....</p>
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<footer class="entry-footer"><span title='2019-01-21 14:39:14 +0530 IST'>January 21, 2019</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;7 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha</footer>
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"articleBody": "Check it out on Goodreads\n I find India really fascinating sometimes, even though I’ve lived my whole life here. What the cultural multitudes and colorful festivals hide underneath is an ugly facade which threatens to break everything that has been built over the years. What I find most fascinating is how we’ve conditioned ourselves to ignore the blatant reality and move ahead with an oblivious calm, living in shit and aspiring for the gold.\nCaste and religion are two of the most contentious topics out there, so much ingrained in our day to day life that one cannot even comprehend that any alternatives exist. Ambedkar had tried to show an alternative way out, and it only speaks of the deep-rootedness of the system when all we remember Dr. Ambedkar for is writing the Constitution (albiet not a small feat by any stretch), while all his life he had worked to shake the society off from the chains of caste.\nThis annotated edition is the perfect way to educate oneself about the almost forgotten history of a radical man who dared to question the status quo and to demand justice, fighting not against a foreign invader but with his fellow countrymen, and who has been sidelined from every history book that is taught in the country.\nCaste is part and parcel of a Hindu life. I did not realize or experience this until I entered college. Although it remains rather concealed amongst students, it reared its ugly head whenever the matter of reservation (Affirmative action in west) was discussed. Arundhati Roy put this brilliantly in her forward:\n ‘Merit’ is the weapon of choice for an Indian elite that has dominated a system by allegedly divine authorisation, and denied knowledge—of certain kinds—to the subordinated castes for thousands of years. Now that it is being challenged, there have been passionate privileged-caste protests against the policy of reservation in government jobs and student quotas in universities. The presumption is that ‘merit’ exists in an ahistorical social vacuum and that the advantages that come from privileged-caste social networking and the establishment’s entrenched hostility towards the subordinated castes are not factors that deserve consideration. In truth, ‘merit’ has become a euphemism for nepotism.\n Even now when I no longer believe in religion (Hinduism was never my religion, it was my parents' religion which I inherited, much like everyone else), I still get asked for my “last name” as a proxy for my caste. It is so seeped into our consciousness that we can’t help but feel a reverence whenever we come across someone from a “higher caste”, or to feel discomfort when we meet someone from a “lower caste”. This prejudice even trumps religious beliefs in India - even though their scriptures don’t sanction it, the elite Muslims, Sikhs and Christians all practice caste discrimination.\nThe arguments put forward by Ambedkar for breaking up the entire caste system is a brilliant demonstration of the crystal-clear thinking of a man who left such a huge legacy on the Indian subcontinent and made sure that the future of India is steered in the right direction. He is criticised for asking for a radical transformation of society when India needed to unite everyone to win its freedom. What these criticisms seem to miss is that every radical man/woman is considered radical precisely because i) they go against the cultural norms and ii) they question the deep-rooted prejudiced beliefs. There will never come an “appropriate” time for reforms, as is sadly evident with the still prevalent caste discrimination almost 90 years after Ambedkar decided to storm the gates.\nIt’s a travesty that he still remains, for the large part, forgotten.\n",
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<h1 class="post-title">
Annihilation of Caste(Annotated Edition): A Review
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2021-07-23 22:56:47 +0530 IST'>July 23, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;3 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4063570586">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
<hr>
<p>I find India really fascinating sometimes, even though I&rsquo;ve lived my whole life here. What the cultural multitudes and colorful festivals hide underneath is an ugly facade which threatens to break everything that has been built over the years. What I find most fascinating is how we&rsquo;ve conditioned ourselves to ignore the blatant reality and move ahead with an oblivious calm, living in shit and aspiring for the gold.</p>
<p>Caste and religion are two of the most contentious topics out there, so much ingrained in our day to day life that one cannot even comprehend that any alternatives exist. Ambedkar had tried to show an alternative way out, and it only speaks of the deep-rootedness of the system when all we remember Dr. Ambedkar for is writing the Constitution (albiet not a small feat by any stretch), while all his life he had worked to shake the society off from the chains of caste.</p>
<p>This annotated edition is the perfect way to educate oneself about the almost forgotten history of a radical man who dared to question the status quo and to demand justice, fighting not against a foreign invader but with his fellow countrymen, and who has been sidelined from every history book that is taught in the country.</p>
<p>Caste is part and parcel of a Hindu life. I did not realize or experience this until I entered college. Although it remains rather concealed amongst students, it reared its ugly head whenever the matter of reservation (Affirmative action in west) was discussed. Arundhati Roy put this brilliantly in her forward:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>‘Merit’ is the weapon of choice for an Indian elite that has dominated a system by allegedly divine authorisation, and denied knowledge—of certain kinds—to the subordinated castes for thousands of years. Now that it is being challenged, there have been passionate privileged-caste protests against the policy of reservation in government jobs and student quotas in universities. The presumption is that ‘merit’ exists in an ahistorical social vacuum and that the advantages that come from privileged-caste social networking and the establishment’s entrenched hostility towards the subordinated castes are not factors that deserve consideration. In truth, ‘merit’ has become a euphemism for nepotism.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Even now when I no longer believe in religion (Hinduism was never my religion, it was my parents' religion which I inherited, much like everyone else), I still get asked for my &ldquo;last name&rdquo; as a proxy for my caste. It is so seeped into our consciousness that we can&rsquo;t help but feel a reverence whenever we come across someone from a &ldquo;higher caste&rdquo;, or to feel discomfort when we meet someone from a &ldquo;lower caste&rdquo;. This prejudice even trumps religious beliefs in India - even though their
scriptures don&rsquo;t sanction it, the elite Muslims, Sikhs and Christians all practice caste discrimination.</p>
<p>The arguments put forward by Ambedkar for breaking up the entire caste system is a brilliant demonstration of the crystal-clear thinking of a man who left such a huge legacy on the Indian subcontinent and made sure that the future of India is steered in the right direction. He is criticised for asking for a radical transformation of society when India needed to unite everyone to win its freedom. What these criticisms seem to miss is that every radical man/woman is considered
radical precisely because i) they go against the cultural norms and ii) they question the deep-rooted prejudiced beliefs. There will never come an &ldquo;appropriate&rdquo; time for reforms, as is sadly evident with the still prevalent caste discrimination almost 90 years after Ambedkar decided to storm the gates.</p>
<p>It&rsquo;s a travesty that he still remains, for the large part, forgotten.</p>
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I don&rsquo;t have a lot of friends who are supporters of the ruling BJP (well at least the ones who have disclosed it publicly), and consequently whenever the conversation shifts towards the ongoings in India, more often than not, we find ourselves agreeing with each other. Although this is perfectly alright for me on most days, on few ocaasions, I find a shadow of a doubt slowly creeping up inside - what if I&rsquo;m living inside a bubble, an echo-chamber where I only get exposed to the ideas which I already hold to be true, especially relevant now that everything in our lives are getting regulated by algorithms.">
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I don&rsquo;t have a lot of friends who are supporters of the ruling BJP (well at least the ones who have disclosed it publicly), and consequently whenever the conversation shifts towards the ongoings in India, more often than not, we find ourselves agreeing with each other. Although this is perfectly alright for me on most days, on few ocaasions, I find a shadow of a doubt slowly creeping up inside - what if I&rsquo;m living inside a bubble, an echo-chamber where I only get exposed to the ideas which I already hold to be true, especially relevant now that everything in our lives are getting regulated by algorithms." />
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I don&rsquo;t have a lot of friends who are supporters of the ruling BJP (well at least the ones who have disclosed it publicly), and consequently whenever the conversation shifts towards the ongoings in India, more often than not, we find ourselves agreeing with each other. Although this is perfectly alright for me on most days, on few ocaasions, I find a shadow of a doubt slowly creeping up inside - what if I&rsquo;m living inside a bubble, an echo-chamber where I only get exposed to the ideas which I already hold to be true, especially relevant now that everything in our lives are getting regulated by algorithms."/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Azadi by Arundhati Roy: A Review
</h1>
<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-09-30 22:22:13 +0530 IST'>September 30, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3534647672">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
<hr>
<p>I don&rsquo;t have a lot of friends who are supporters of the ruling BJP (well at least the ones who have disclosed it publicly), and consequently whenever the conversation shifts towards the ongoings in India, more often than not, we find ourselves agreeing with each other. Although this is perfectly alright for me on most days, on few ocaasions, I find a shadow of a doubt slowly creeping up inside - what if I&rsquo;m living inside a bubble, an echo-chamber where I only get exposed to the ideas which I already hold to be true, especially relevant now that everything in our lives are getting regulated by algorithms. Whenever this confirmation bias hits me, I long to read something contrarian, to engage with the other side and to try to put myself in their shoes.</p>
<p>So it was with a pleasant surprise that I found out one day, one of my friends &ldquo;coming out of the closet&rdquo; and to declare him(her)self to be a supporter of the ruling party. I grabbed the chance to finally be able to hear the arguments from the other side and so, I broke my cardinal rule of not engaging in political debates on social media and contacted him/her. The result was devastating. We passionately debated our views and had heated discussions throughout the day, in the end agreeing that maybe we shouldn&rsquo;t have bothered to hit each other up after all. I was visibly distressed for a few days after this incident, as if a small flicker of hope had died in that encounter.</p>
<p>If two educated and privileged youths in their early twenties were unable to agree on something as basic as whether Muslims deserve to live in India, or whether India should really become a &ldquo;Hindu Rashtra&rdquo; or not, what hope could I have from the millions of others who didn&rsquo;t have the same privileges as us?</p>
<p>Reading this book brought that hopelessness to the front once again. There are hard-hitting truths written here, things that we would sooner like to forget lest they cause us pain and make vivid the grim reality of our times. But like a festering wound which devours our body if unattended, ignorance is not bliss but a vicious disease which paralyzes us faster than we might think.</p>
<p>My appeal to whoever is reading this would be - reach out to others, engage in conversations, don&rsquo;t dismiss the whole debate as &ldquo;unnecessary politics&rdquo; - your mere existence is political. Politics is not about discussing who should be the next PM, it&rsquo;s about discussing ideas and how you view others who are different than yourself, to engage with empathy and to embrace the differences, and to speak out against wrongs.</p>
<p>I&rsquo;ll leave you with a powerful passage from the book itself, where Arundhati Roy laments about the role each of us plays in how the future shapes itself:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>After twenty years of writing fiction and nonfiction that tracks the rise of Hindu nationalism, after years of reading about the rise and fall of European fascism, I have begun to wonder why fascism—although it is by no means the same everywhere—is so recognizable across histories and cultures. It’s not just the fascists that are recognizable—the strong man, the ideological army, the squalid dreams of Aryan superiority, the dehumanization and ghettoization of the “internal enemy,” the massive and utterly ruthless propaganda machine, the false-flag attacks and assassinations, the fawning businessmen and film stars, the attacks on universities, the fear of intellectuals, the specter of detention camps, and the hate-fueled zombie population that chants the Eastern equivalent of “Heil! Heil! Heil!” It’s also the rest of us—the exhausted, quarreling opposition, the vain, nit-picking Left, the equivocating liberals who spent years building the road that has led to the situation we find ourselves in, and are now behaving like shocked, righteous rabbits who never imagined that rabbits were an important ingredient of the rabbit stew that was always on the menu. And, of course, the wolves who ignored the decent folks’ counsel of moderation and sloped off into the wilderness to howl unceasingly, futilely—and, if they were female, then “shrilly” and “hysterically”—at the terrifying, misshapen moon. All of us are recognizable.</p>
</blockquote>
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How to fool the world and become a Billionaire I remember hearing about Elizabeth Holmes when I was in my late teens, at that impressionable age when you get hyper-inspired by reading about icons that are going to change the world. There was a profile of her in Wired, with an eye-catching image of her wearing a turtleneck black sweater holding what looked like a test-tube with a tiny amount of blood with a science-y background.">
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How to fool the world and become a Billionaire I remember hearing about Elizabeth Holmes when I was in my late teens, at that impressionable age when you get hyper-inspired by reading about icons that are going to change the world. There was a profile of her in Wired, with an eye-catching image of her wearing a turtleneck black sweater holding what looked like a test-tube with a tiny amount of blood with a science-y background." />
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How to fool the world and become a Billionaire I remember hearing about Elizabeth Holmes when I was in my late teens, at that impressionable age when you get hyper-inspired by reading about icons that are going to change the world. There was a profile of her in Wired, with an eye-catching image of her wearing a turtleneck black sweater holding what looked like a test-tube with a tiny amount of blood with a science-y background."/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Bad Blood: A Review
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-05-01 23:39:18 +0530 IST'>May 1, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2635590846">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
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<h2 id="how-to-fool-the-world-and-become-a-billionaire">How to fool the world and become a Billionaire<a hidden class="anchor" aria-hidden="true" href="#how-to-fool-the-world-and-become-a-billionaire">#</a></h2>
<p>I remember hearing about <em>Elizabeth Holmes</em> when I was in my late teens, at that impressionable age when you get hyper-inspired by reading about icons that are going to change the world. There was a profile of her in Wired, with an eye-catching image of her wearing a turtleneck black sweater holding what looked like a test-tube with a tiny amount of blood with a science-y background. I remember it had made quite a distinct impression on my mind, no doubt helped by the fact that the profile had described her as <em>&ldquo;this Stanford dropout 20-something who was hailed as being a younger version of Einstein, was going to change the world&rdquo;</em>.</p>
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<p>Undoubtedly, as so often happens, I forgot about people who were gonna change the world as I grew up. Then I heard about this book last year, which was getting enormously praised for its exposé of a Silicon Valley firm and was really surprised to find out that the company at the center of the storm was Theranos, the brainchild of Elizabeth Holmes. This book reads like a detective novel, meticulously giving the clues and binding the threads of the deception that Holmes had so carefully and brilliantly constructed and managed to fool the entire world.</p>
<p>Read this one if you want to get a lesson in how not to emulate a leader.</p>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Glimpses of World History: A Review
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-03-12 23:23:19 +0530 IST'>March 12, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2891482793">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
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<h2 id="world-history-in-a-nutshell">World history in a nutshell<a hidden class="anchor" aria-hidden="true" href="#world-history-in-a-nutshell">#</a></h2>
<p>More than 1100 pages, this behemoth of a book still fails to capture the whole essence of world history - and rightly so. How can you combine over 2000 years of human history and still do justice to every element? But the unique manner in which this book - or more appropriately, collection of letters - has been written, it shines brightly amongst the plethora of history books you can find on this vast subject of world history.</p>
<p>Lately and unfortunately, people in my country have been going down a dangerous political hole and it is almost becoming a fashion statement now to indulge in tales of <em>&ldquo;revisionist history&rdquo;</em>, especially when it&rsquo;s related to foundations of India and the exact roles played by political parties of the time. It&rsquo;s shameful to hear people bashing Nehru for whatever &ldquo;wrongs&rdquo; he committed, while at the same time, being ignorant about his accomplishments and the monumentally difficult task he faced of leading and building India during its first few years of Independence.</p>
<p>The personal nature of the letters and the choice of the subject notwithstanding - or more accurately, I should say <em>because</em> of these characteristics - this book is also a revealing window to the character and intelligence of our first Prime Minister.</p>
<p>This one would surely go onto my favorites' stand :)</p>
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I have been a lover of music since my early childhood - runs in the family - and have imitated and performed songs (mostly inside my own head) on numerous occasions. Despite this lifelong love affair with music of all kinds, there was one particular genre of music that always baffled me. Mostly because of my own ignorance, but partially also because nobody else was talking about it.">
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I have been a lover of music since my early childhood - runs in the family - and have imitated and performed songs (mostly inside my own head) on numerous occasions. Despite this lifelong love affair with music of all kinds, there was one particular genre of music that always baffled me. Mostly because of my own ignorance, but partially also because nobody else was talking about it." />
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I have been a lover of music since my early childhood - runs in the family - and have imitated and performed songs (mostly inside my own head) on numerous occasions. Despite this lifelong love affair with music of all kinds, there was one particular genre of music that always baffled me. Mostly because of my own ignorance, but partially also because nobody else was talking about it."/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
How to Listen to and Understand Great Music: A Review
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-01-16 22:05:06 +0530 IST'>January 16, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<p>I have been a lover of music since my early childhood - runs in the family - and have imitated and performed songs (mostly inside my own head) on numerous occasions. Despite this lifelong love affair with music of all kinds, there was one particular genre of music that always baffled me. Mostly because of my own ignorance, but partially also because nobody else was talking about it. Nobody else in my own vicinity that is. It didn&rsquo;t play on the radio, you won&rsquo;t hear it playing on any of the countless music channels and certainly, nobody was going on tours giving live performances.</p>
<p>This was the wonderful genre of concert music.</p>
<p>We have all probably heard the following names: Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky. But, and this is especially true in India, very few listeners would be able to identify a piece of concert music by its composer, the way they would a Linkin Park song for example. Now I realize the comparison is a bit unfair, and I&rsquo;m not trying to pit one musician against another - it&rsquo;s just to illustrate a point - the point being that we are grossly unfamiliar with these great composers apart from reading a passage about them in history books about what geniuses they were.</p>
<p>This series of lectures is dedicated towards amending this misstep. Narrated by the ever passionate and wonderful Dr. Robert Greenberg, this is a collection of 48 lectures of 45 minutes each (36 hours in total), which takes you on a musical journey starting from the ancient Greek music up until the first half of the twentieth century. For the lack of a better word, these lectures are absolutely amazing - especially because of the narrator. His enthusiasm is simply so infectious!</p>
<p>Do give this one a listen. I promise it&rsquo;ll be worth it.</p>
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I have had a very curious relationship with religion, although now that I talk to others, it was a much more normal experience than what I led myself to believe. I followed the typical path of receiving a particular religion from my parents (born a &ldquo;Hindu child&rdquo;), which had a supporting role in my life up until my late-teenage/early-adolescent years.
As is the norm for every child brought up in religion, I used to consider myself special believing that I had a &ldquo;personal relationship&rdquo; with God.">
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I have had a very curious relationship with religion, although now that I talk to others, it was a much more normal experience than what I led myself to believe. I followed the typical path of receiving a particular religion from my parents (born a &ldquo;Hindu child&rdquo;), which had a supporting role in my life up until my late-teenage/early-adolescent years.
As is the norm for every child brought up in religion, I used to consider myself special believing that I had a &ldquo;personal relationship&rdquo; with God." />
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I have had a very curious relationship with religion, although now that I talk to others, it was a much more normal experience than what I led myself to believe. I followed the typical path of receiving a particular religion from my parents (born a &ldquo;Hindu child&rdquo;), which had a supporting role in my life up until my late-teenage/early-adolescent years.
As is the norm for every child brought up in religion, I used to consider myself special believing that I had a &ldquo;personal relationship&rdquo; with God."/>
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<div class="breadcrumbs"><a href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/">Home</a>&nbsp;»&nbsp;<a href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/">Posts</a></div>
<h1 class="post-title">
Parenting Beyond Belief: A Review
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2021-03-18 22:14:21 +0530 IST'>March 18, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2833252009">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
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<p>I have had a very curious relationship with religion, although now that I talk to others, it was a much more normal experience than what I led myself to believe. I followed the typical path of receiving a particular religion from my parents (born a &ldquo;Hindu child&rdquo;), which had a supporting role in my life up until my late-teenage/early-adolescent years.</p>
<p>As is the norm for every child brought up in religion, I used to consider myself special believing that I had a &ldquo;personal relationship&rdquo; with God. There are so many good things about religion, but this in particular I believe to be the best part - this soothing feeling that somebody is watching over you in times of distress. During my early college years when I lost my faith, I was most afraid of having lost this rescuer of last resort (I wrote a short poem on this <a href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/blog/deference-vs-indifference/">which you can read here</a>. During times of despair, I frequently wondered what would&rsquo;ve happened had I not been brought up in a religious family.</p>
<p>This book combines two of the most morally contentious issues that have always puzzled me - Religion and having a child. While I don&rsquo;t swing to the other extreme of subscribing to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antinatalism">antinatalistic</a> views, I do frequently wonder how it is that people don&rsquo;t question the morality of bringing a sentient being into the world, whose life (to a major extent) will be affected by how they are brought up by their parents. Children are shaped by the identity of their parents during their formative years, and require a significant struggle during their adolescence to be able to make independent decisions of their own. This struggle is more pronounced in matters of faith - an overwhelming majority of children wind up believing in the same gods that their parents believe in.</p>
<p>What can be done to lessen this automatic behavior so that children are more confident of picking their own battles and faith? This book presents insights from the people who tried to do exactly that.</p>
<p>It is a wonderful collection of essays from parents who are non-religious and want to bring up their child in an environment which enables them to question the authority and dogma. While just raising them secular doesn&rsquo;t make them superior to everybody else - bigotry is never dependent on faith - it is the independent exploration that is crucial. The essays deal with nuances of raising children in secular homes, going pretty much against the society, and how to deal with disagreements. Unfortunately, there are few essays in the end which swings the pendulum to the other end, concerned with finding &ldquo;Humanist&rdquo; and &ldquo;Unitarian&rdquo; communities which I found to be dull, however, the rest of the book remains a pleasant and insightful read.</p>
<p>My notebook is filled with highlights from the book, but there&rsquo;s one paragraph in particular that I want to share, which nicely defines the central theme of these essays.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>One thread runs throughout this book: Encourage a child to think well, then trust her to do so. Removing religion by no means guarantees kids will think independently and well. Consider religion itself: Kids growing up in a secular home are at the same risk of making uninformed decisions about religion as are those in deeply religious homes. In order to really think for themselves about religion, kids must learn as much as possible about religion as a human cultural expression while being kept free of the sickening idea that they will be rewarded in heaven or punished in hell based on what they decide—a bit of intellectual terrorism we should never inflict on our kids, nor on each other. They must also learn what has been said and thought in opposition to religious ideas. If my kids think independently and well, then end up coming to conclusions different from my own—well, I’d have to consider the possibility that I’ve gotten it all wrong, then. Either way, in order to own and be nourished by their convictions, kids must ultimately come to them independently. Part of our wonderfully complex job as parents is to facilitate that process without controlling it.</p>
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<p>I&rsquo;d highly recommend this book to everyone.</p>
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Started with a tightly-knit structure, but faltered at the end. The last few chapters were a slog to get through - mostly because of numerous &ldquo;business-class&rdquo; style case studies.
Main takeaway? Other than the central idea around which the book revolves (and succinctly mentioned as the book subtitle too), the idea of interleaving is what struck me the most. I had already read about this particular method in Michael Nielsen&rsquo;s brilliant post on Anki (&ldquo;Augmenting Long-term Memory&rdquo;) and it was interesting to read about it formally in the book.">
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Started with a tightly-knit structure, but faltered at the end. The last few chapters were a slog to get through - mostly because of numerous &ldquo;business-class&rdquo; style case studies.
Main takeaway? Other than the central idea around which the book revolves (and succinctly mentioned as the book subtitle too), the idea of interleaving is what struck me the most. I had already read about this particular method in Michael Nielsen&rsquo;s brilliant post on Anki (&ldquo;Augmenting Long-term Memory&rdquo;) and it was interesting to read about it formally in the book." />
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Started with a tightly-knit structure, but faltered at the end. The last few chapters were a slog to get through - mostly because of numerous &ldquo;business-class&rdquo; style case studies.
Main takeaway? Other than the central idea around which the book revolves (and succinctly mentioned as the book subtitle too), the idea of interleaving is what struck me the most. I had already read about this particular method in Michael Nielsen&rsquo;s brilliant post on Anki (&ldquo;Augmenting Long-term Memory&rdquo;) and it was interesting to read about it formally in the book."/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Range by David Epstein: A Review
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2019-09-05 00:16:14 +0530 IST'>September 5, 2019</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2918108710">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
<hr>
<p>Started with a tightly-knit structure, but faltered at the end. The last few chapters were a slog to get through - mostly because of numerous &ldquo;business-class&rdquo; style case studies.</p>
<p>Main takeaway? Other than the central idea around which the book revolves (and succinctly mentioned as the book subtitle too), the
idea of interleaving is what struck me the most. I had already read about this particular method in <strong>Michael Nielsen&rsquo;s brilliant
post</strong> on Anki (<a href="http://augmentingcognition.com/ltm.html">&ldquo;Augmenting Long-term Memory&rdquo;</a>) and it was interesting to read about it formally in the book. Interleaving is the technique of mixing up your learning in varied environments so that it makes some unusual connections that you&rsquo;d normally won&rsquo;t think about - and might come in handy when you are faced with a problem in a new environment you haven&rsquo;t previously encountered.</p>
<p>In the end, &ldquo;Range&rdquo; suffers from the same deficiencies that a lot of other pop-psychology/self-management books suffer from - too many anecdotal evidence and case studies. A reviewer here on Goodreads summed it the best:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Finally, Range is designed to appeal to people who are already skeptical of specialization/ enthusiastic about generalized skillsets. I worry that some of the appreciation of this book is just a soothing exercise in confirmation bias for generalists.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Still, I&rsquo;d recommend it to people who (like me) are skeptical about their tendency to dabble in too many disparate fields at the same time - this might be the soothing pill that you were looking for.</p>
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Reasons you should read this book:
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<h1 class="post-title">
Reasons to Stay Alive: A Review
</h1>
<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-01-28 22:28:18 +0530 IST'>January 28, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3161153699">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
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<p><strong>Reasons you should read this book:</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>If you&rsquo;ve ever had a panic attack.</li>
<li>If you&rsquo;ve ever counted the number of times the ceiling fan rotates, just so you could avoid dealing with the endless voices in your head.</li>
<li>If you&rsquo;ve ever felt ashamed to admit that you might be suffering from the D-word.</li>
<li>If reading about personal stories of how people overcame their mental illnesses soothes you.</li>
<li>Because why not.</li>
</ol>
<p>A lucid, non-linear and a sort of haphazard look at the most personal struggle anyone can go through, give this one a read if you want to know what it feels like to have depression.</p>
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Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
I have no affinity for running, even for short jogs, and much less for wanting to run long distances. Although this is not because I hate exercises - one of those rare things that I figured out early in life was my desire to remain healthy as long as possible and that of course means I need to keep myself fit - but probably my distaste for running stems from the monotonous nature of the activity.">
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Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
I have no affinity for running, even for short jogs, and much less for wanting to run long distances. Although this is not because I hate exercises - one of those rare things that I figured out early in life was my desire to remain healthy as long as possible and that of course means I need to keep myself fit - but probably my distaste for running stems from the monotonous nature of the activity." />
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Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
I have no affinity for running, even for short jogs, and much less for wanting to run long distances. Although this is not because I hate exercises - one of those rare things that I figured out early in life was my desire to remain healthy as long as possible and that of course means I need to keep myself fit - but probably my distaste for running stems from the monotonous nature of the activity."/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
What I Talk About When I Talk About Running: Haruki Murakami - A Review
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2021-08-14 20:09:56 +0530 IST'>August 14, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4168404043">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
<hr>
<p><em>Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.</em></p>
<p>I have no affinity for running, even for short jogs, and much less for wanting to run long distances. Although this is not because I hate exercises - one of those rare things that I figured out early in life was my desire to remain healthy as long as possible and that of course means I need to keep myself fit - but probably my distaste for running stems from the monotonous nature of the activity. You keep pounding your legs with a short breath and no rest in sight, what is there to
enjoy and look forward to?</p>
<p>My girlfriend on the other hand, loves running.</p>
<p>Intrigued by her passion, I began to take a more compassionate look on the whole idea of running, shunning my former dismissive attitude. What is it that motivates people to run marathons, putting their body through excruciating pain for an uncertain reward? It cannot be as simple as just the competitive spirit. In fact, running is exactly opposite of a team sport, it&rsquo;s as solitary an activity as thinking and dreaming. Can it be that the monotonicity itself is part of the charm?</p>
<p>In this book, Murakami tries to give an answer to this. Or more accurately, he dissects his own emotions and gives insights on how (long distance) running has been crucial to his writing. Both involve perseverance and intense emotional turmoil. While talking about the different ways in which artists produce creative works, he humbly says:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Writers who are blessed with in-born talent can freely write novels no matter what they do, or don&rsquo;t do. Like water from a natural spring, the sentences just well up and with little or no effort, these writers can complete a work. Occasionally, you&rsquo;ll find someone like that, but unfortunately that category wouldn&rsquo;t include me. I haven&rsquo;t spotted any springs nearby. I have to pound the rock with a chisel and dig out a deep hole before I can locate the source of creativity. To write a novel, I have to drive myself hard physically and use a lot of time and effort. Every time I begin a new novel, I have to dredge out another new, deep hole.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Seeing it through his eyes, it becomes clear that there are a lot of parallels between running long distances and sustaining a long writing career. He is also not shy about admitting that both of these processes involve sheer repetition of the same thing over and over again:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I think certain types of processes don&rsquo;t allow for any variation. If you have to be part of that process, all you can do is transform, or perhaps distort, yourself through that persistence repetition and make that process a part of your own personality.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This part-memoir, part-love-letter to running is filled with such simple yet important insights. Murakami has made a name for himself as one of the most original writers of the time and the humility with which he lays out himself in these pages is inspiring. In one of those beautiful passages, he talks about the turbulent times of adolescence and how we can cope up with the absurd reality of our imperfections:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Once when I was around sixteen and nobody else was home, I stripped naked, stood in front of a large mirror in our house, and checked out my body from top to bottom. As I did this, I made a mental list of all the deficiencies - or what, to me at least, appeared to be deficiencies. For instance (and these are just instances), my eyebrows were too thick, or my fingernails were shaped funny - that sort of thing. As I recall, when I got to twenty-seven items, I got sick of it and gave
up. And this is what I thought: If there are this many visible parts of my body that are worse than normal people&rsquo;s, then if I start considering other aspects - personality, brains, athleticism, things of this sort - the list will be endless.</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p>As you get older though, through trial and error you learn to get what you need, and throw out what should be discarded. And you start to recognize (or be resigned to the fact) that since your faults and deficiencies are well nigh infinite, you&rsquo;d best figure out your good points and learn to get by with what you have.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This book has piqued my interest to give running a try and if I ever manage, in future, to enjoy running long distances, Murakami would certainly have a large role to play.</p>
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Now that I&rsquo;ve moved away from reading fiction, I find that I face a lot of inertia to pick up something purely for pleasure. Maybe this is a nasty by-product of wanting to be as &ldquo;productive&rdquo; as possible. But the more I have drifted away from reading for pleasure, more mechanical the whole process has become for me. Partly to avoid this feeling, and partly because of my shame at seeing my bookshelf filled with dusty unread books, I picked up this one to assuage my feelings of guilt.">
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Now that I&rsquo;ve moved away from reading fiction, I find that I face a lot of inertia to pick up something purely for pleasure. Maybe this is a nasty by-product of wanting to be as &ldquo;productive&rdquo; as possible. But the more I have drifted away from reading for pleasure, more mechanical the whole process has become for me. Partly to avoid this feeling, and partly because of my shame at seeing my bookshelf filled with dusty unread books, I picked up this one to assuage my feelings of guilt." />
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Now that I&rsquo;ve moved away from reading fiction, I find that I face a lot of inertia to pick up something purely for pleasure. Maybe this is a nasty by-product of wanting to be as &ldquo;productive&rdquo; as possible. But the more I have drifted away from reading for pleasure, more mechanical the whole process has become for me. Partly to avoid this feeling, and partly because of my shame at seeing my bookshelf filled with dusty unread books, I picked up this one to assuage my feelings of guilt."/>
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Shame by Salman Rushdie - A Review
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2021-08-17 22:55:02 +0530 IST'>August 17, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4138625648">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
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<p>Now that I&rsquo;ve moved away from reading fiction, I find that I face a lot of inertia to pick up something purely for pleasure. Maybe this is a nasty by-product of wanting to be as &ldquo;productive&rdquo; as possible. But the more I have drifted away from reading for pleasure, more mechanical the whole process has become for me. Partly to avoid this feeling, and partly because of my shame at seeing my bookshelf filled with dusty unread books, I picked up this one to assuage my feelings of guilt.</p>
<p>I had not expected the journey to be this beautiful!</p>
<p>Salman Rushdie doesn&rsquo;t need an introduction. He has been routinely hailed amongst one of the best contemporary writers of our time. It only speaks of my ignorance that I had only heard about him because of his controversies - <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Satanic_Verses_controversy">outcry for Satanic Verses</a>, fatwa issued against him - and only knew that one of his novels, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14836.Midnight_s_Children">Midnight&rsquo;s Children</a>, had won a Booker Prize. I don&rsquo;t have a fond memory of reading Booker Prize winning books, bitter from the day I read <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1768603.The_White_Tiger">The White Tiger</a> by Aravind Adiga. But as I got sucked into the universe created by Rushdie, my initial skepticism gave way to awe and admiration.</p>
<p>Rushdie has a peculiar way with words, an authoritative stance where the sentences bend over backwards to dance to the master&rsquo;s tunes. He weaves them in and out and creates intricate relationships between the story, storyteller and reader. You need to be acquainted with the history of India and Pakistan, or at least be familiar with the events surrounding the partition, in order to grasp fully what he has set out here to do. The book is filled with brilliant uses of metaphors and similes, creating a parallel universe of Pakistan during the tumultuous years after partition. The sentences are measured and precise, neatly packed with an intricate plot and the social commentary (with a tinge of satire) leading you towards the destination.</p>
<p>If it&rsquo;s not yet clear, I unashamedly loved every part of Shame and I&rsquo;m excited to dig more into Rushdie&rsquo;s works!</p>
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The School of Life - a massively popular YouTube channel - used to be this source of solace in some turbulent times of my college life. It is not something that you&rsquo;d think would be cheerful and uplifting - a quick glance at some of the most popular videos of the channel would include titles such as &ldquo;Why we go cold on our partners&rdquo;, &ldquo;Why you will marry the wrong person&rdquo; etc.">
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The School of Life - a massively popular YouTube channel - used to be this source of solace in some turbulent times of my college life. It is not something that you&rsquo;d think would be cheerful and uplifting - a quick glance at some of the most popular videos of the channel would include titles such as &ldquo;Why we go cold on our partners&rdquo;, &ldquo;Why you will marry the wrong person&rdquo; etc." />
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The School of Life - a massively popular YouTube channel - used to be this source of solace in some turbulent times of my college life. It is not something that you&rsquo;d think would be cheerful and uplifting - a quick glance at some of the most popular videos of the channel would include titles such as &ldquo;Why we go cold on our partners&rdquo;, &ldquo;Why you will marry the wrong person&rdquo; etc."/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
The Course of Love : A Review
</h1>
<div class="post-meta"><span title='2019-02-14 20:21:45 +0530 IST'>February 14, 2019</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;3 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1855122398">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
<hr>
<p>The School of Life - a massively popular YouTube channel - used to be this source of solace in some turbulent times of my college life.
It is not something that you&rsquo;d think would be cheerful and uplifting - a quick glance at some of the most popular videos of the channel would include titles such as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRaaqN2Atxw">&ldquo;Why we go cold on our partners&rdquo;</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuKV2DI9-Jg">&ldquo;Why you will marry the wrong person&rdquo;</a> etc.
The honest yet straightforward mannger in which the narrator calmly tells us that even though it might feel like this is the worst possible time of your life, it is not usually so - it was a comforting thought - to feel and accept that things are fucked up and move on with quiet resignation.</p>
<p>Alain De Botton is the founder of the said channel as well as the author of this book.</p>
<p>The Course of Love is Alain&rsquo;s critique of what&rsquo;s wrong with the society&rsquo;s current perspective of love and marriages. Romanticism - the idea that the briefest of glances of some stranger is the formulation of a satisfying relationship, the idea of soul-mates and the happily ever after - is one of the most mistakenly understood facets of life.</p>
<p>The story revolves around two fictional characters who meet each other at work, fall in love, get married, have children and go through the whole process of frustrations and resignations and disappointments that constitutes a married life. Through this fictional story, Alain gives us some of the most profound insights into how love and relationships work in real life - quite unlike how they happen in stories.
He writes in one of the passages -</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Our understanding of love has been hijacked and beguiled by its first distractingly moving elements. We have allowed our love stories to end way too early. We seem to know far too much about how love starts, and recklessly little about how it might continue.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>It has its shortcomings though - sometimes Alain insights might appear to be delusional and bordering on self-righteousness, especially when he is commenting on one of the most controversial aspects of marriage - Adultery.</p>
<p>However, if you keep in mind that all these insights are a one man&rsquo;s opinion and that you don&rsquo;t have to take everything at face value, you&rsquo;ll be able to take away many good things from this book.
Give this one a read when you&rsquo;re falling in love, revisit it when you&rsquo;re getting married and visit again when you&rsquo;re trapped in those inevitable frustrations of married life. I know I certainly will.</p>
<p>I will leave you with one of my favorite passages from the book -</p>
<blockquote>
<p>At the heart of a sulk lies a confusing mixture of intense anger and an equally intense desire not to communicate what one is angry about. The sulker both desperately needs the other person to understand and yet remains utterly committed to doing nothing to help them do so. The very need to explain forms the kernel of the insult: if the partner requires an explanation, he or she is clearly not worthy of one. We should add: it is a privilege to be the recepient of a sulk; it means the
other person respects and trusts us enough to think we should understand their unspoken hurt. It is one of the odder gifts of love.</p>
</blockquote>
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Ethics is hard.
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Ethics is hard.
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Ethics is hard.
If I&rsquo;ve learnt something all these years, it is this universal maxim. Everybody wishes they&rsquo;d make ethically sound choices in their lives, but more often than not, ethical choices are in contrast with cost and convenience. Nowhere is this more apparent than the way we consume food.
There are a lot of similarities between food and religion. Both are deeply personal choices which are erroneously thought of as having a clear, set winning answer."/>
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"description": "Check it out on Goodreads\n Ethics is hard.\nIf I\u0026rsquo;ve learnt something all these years, it is this universal maxim. Everybody wishes they\u0026rsquo;d make ethically sound choices in their lives, but more often than not, ethical choices are in contrast with cost and convenience. Nowhere is this more apparent than the way we consume food.\nThere are a lot of similarities between food and religion. Both are deeply personal choices which are erroneously thought of as having a clear, set winning answer.",
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"articleBody": "Check it out on Goodreads\n Ethics is hard.\nIf I’ve learnt something all these years, it is this universal maxim. Everybody wishes they’d make ethically sound choices in their lives, but more often than not, ethical choices are in contrast with cost and convenience. Nowhere is this more apparent than the way we consume food.\nThere are a lot of similarities between food and religion. Both are deeply personal choices which are erroneously thought of as having a clear, set winning answer. Both divide people into disjoint sets where they vehemently try to outdo one another in following “The Right Way”. And of course, both are deeply political.\nMy personal journey in food, as in religion, has been quite tumultuous. Coming from a vegetarian family, I used to feel discomfort in sitting at the same table where somebody was eating meat, used to scoff at the smell of eggs and couldn’t go near anything related to fish (this is still the case). Then somewhere along the way, I decided that I don’t have a right to reject things which I haven’t experienced myself and started indulging in this forbidden fruit. I tried everything I could get my hands on, but never reached that stage where I could appreciate the hype. Having gotten a taste of the other side, I made the decision to quit everything and slowly move back to being a vegetarian/vegan.\nThis was the point where I started to seek out reasons to convince me of my choice, and came across this book.\nI wouldn’t call this a balanced book in the sense that the authors' convictions are clear from the start, however where this shines is the way they use evidence to reach their conclusions rather than playing on guilt and shame. The basic fact remains, and this I have confirmed with many of my non-vegetarian friends as well, that we know too little about where our food comes from and our choices would be different if we were armed with this knowledge. The authors visit few American families and observe their eating habits, and then take us through some factory farms where the brutalities are quite graphic and sometimes hard to read and difficult to digest.\nHowever, one qualm that I had while reading through these chapters, was the over-importance of ethics in our everyday choices. Not everyone wants to live a Kantian life full of moments filled with questioning their every choice. Life is hard to live anyway. I was delighted though to find a section dealing with this exhaustion:\n Sometimes the very success of the ethical consumer movement and the proliferation of consumer concerns it has spawned seems to threaten the entire ethical consumption project. When one ethical concern is heaped upon another and we struggle to be sure that our purchases do not contribute to slave labor, animal exploitation, land degradation, wetland pollution, rural depopulation, unfair trade practices, global warming, and the destruction of rain-forests, it may all seem so complicated that we could be tempted to forget about everything except eating what we like and can afford.\n I’m facing this situation myself when I eat eggs and drink milk in the morning - if every time I consume an animal product, I have to think about where this is coming from and whether I’ve unintentionally hurt an animal - to say that my day-to-day life would be unpleasant would be an understatement. However, we should be cautious of throwing the baby out with bathwater - the choice doesn’t have to be between over-indulgence and starvation; we just need to be a bit more conscious of what we consume. To borrow an economist’s favorite phrase: there’s always a trade-off. We just need to be aware of the ones we are making.\nAll in all, I found this to be quite an informative read, albeit a bit dry in places, but would definitely recommend.\n",
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The Way We Eat: Why Our Food Choices Matter
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2021-09-01 10:43:25 +0530 IST'>September 1, 2021</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;4 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4125010337">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
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<p>Ethics is hard.</p>
<p>If I&rsquo;ve learnt something all these years, it is this universal maxim. Everybody wishes they&rsquo;d make ethically sound choices in their lives, but more often than not, ethical choices are in contrast with cost and convenience. Nowhere is this more apparent than the way we consume food.</p>
<p>There are a lot of similarities between food and religion. Both are deeply personal choices which are erroneously thought of as having a clear, set winning answer. Both divide people into disjoint sets where they vehemently try to outdo one another in following &ldquo;The Right Way&rdquo;. And of course, both are deeply political.</p>
<p>My personal journey in food, as in religion, has been quite tumultuous. Coming from a vegetarian family, I used to feel discomfort in sitting at the same table where somebody was eating meat, used to scoff at the smell of eggs and couldn&rsquo;t go near anything related to fish (this is still the case). Then somewhere along the way, I decided that I don&rsquo;t have a right to reject things which I haven&rsquo;t experienced myself and started indulging in this forbidden fruit. I tried everything I could get my hands on, but never reached that stage where I could appreciate the hype. Having gotten a taste of the other side, I made the decision to quit everything and slowly move back to being a vegetarian/vegan.</p>
<p>This was the point where I started to seek out reasons to convince me of my choice, and came across this book.</p>
<p>I wouldn&rsquo;t call this a balanced book in the sense that the authors' convictions are clear from the start, however where this shines is the way they use evidence to reach their conclusions rather than playing on guilt and shame. The basic fact remains, and this I have confirmed with many of my non-vegetarian friends as well, that we know too little about where our food comes from and our choices would be different if we were armed with this knowledge. The authors visit few American families and observe their eating habits, and then take us through some factory farms where the brutalities are quite graphic and sometimes hard to read and difficult to digest.</p>
<p>However, one qualm that I had while reading through these chapters, was the over-importance of ethics in our everyday choices. Not everyone wants to live a Kantian life full of moments filled with questioning their every choice. Life is hard to live anyway. I was delighted though to find a section dealing with this exhaustion:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Sometimes the very success of the ethical consumer movement and the proliferation of consumer concerns it has spawned seems to threaten the entire ethical consumption project. When one ethical concern is heaped upon another and we struggle to be sure that our purchases do not contribute to slave labor, animal exploitation, land degradation, wetland pollution, rural depopulation, unfair trade practices, global warming, and the destruction of rain-forests, it may all seem so complicated that we could be tempted to forget about everything except eating what we like and can afford.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I&rsquo;m facing this situation myself when I eat eggs and drink milk in the morning - if every time I consume an animal product, I have to think about where this is coming from and whether I&rsquo;ve unintentionally hurt an animal - to say that my day-to-day life would be unpleasant would be an understatement. However, we should be cautious of throwing the baby out with bathwater - the choice doesn&rsquo;t have to be between over-indulgence and starvation; we just need to be a bit more conscious of what we consume. To borrow an economist&rsquo;s favorite phrase: there&rsquo;s always a trade-off. We just need to be aware of the ones we are making.</p>
<p>All in all, I found this to be quite an informative read, albeit a bit dry in places, but would definitely recommend.</p>
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A disappointing jumble of thoughts Disappointed.
I am an atheist interested in the power of mindfulness and the whole world of so-called spirituality, so naturally, I am the ideal audience that Sam Harris is looking for. But it disappointed in almost every domain that I had expectations in. Using deep-sounding difficult words and wrapping them in an almost mythical aura of &ldquo;Consciousness&rdquo;, this one was a huge letdown.">
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A disappointing jumble of thoughts Disappointed.
I am an atheist interested in the power of mindfulness and the whole world of so-called spirituality, so naturally, I am the ideal audience that Sam Harris is looking for. But it disappointed in almost every domain that I had expectations in. Using deep-sounding difficult words and wrapping them in an almost mythical aura of &ldquo;Consciousness&rdquo;, this one was a huge letdown." />
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A disappointing jumble of thoughts Disappointed.
I am an atheist interested in the power of mindfulness and the whole world of so-called spirituality, so naturally, I am the ideal audience that Sam Harris is looking for. But it disappointed in almost every domain that I had expectations in. Using deep-sounding difficult words and wrapping them in an almost mythical aura of &ldquo;Consciousness&rdquo;, this one was a huge letdown."/>
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<h1 class="post-title">
Waking Up: A Review
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-04-15 23:31:08 +0530 IST'>April 15, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;1 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3272821691">Check it out on Goodreads</a></p>
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<h2 id="a-disappointing-jumble-of-thoughts">A disappointing jumble of thoughts<a hidden class="anchor" aria-hidden="true" href="#a-disappointing-jumble-of-thoughts">#</a></h2>
<p>Disappointed.</p>
<p>I am an atheist interested in the power of mindfulness and the whole world of so-called spirituality, so naturally, I am the ideal audience that Sam Harris is looking for. But it disappointed in almost every domain that I had expectations in. Using deep-sounding difficult words and wrapping them in an almost mythical aura of &ldquo;Consciousness&rdquo;, this one was a huge letdown. The irony is that I&rsquo;ve been following his mindfulness meditation course and it&rsquo;s been the opposite experience there - in fact, his meditation course itself was what motivated me to pick up this book.</p>
<p>Save yourself the trouble of reading on why to meditate and instead dive into doing the practice itself and judge for yourself.</p>
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<title>Fear | The Lazy Oxymoron</title>
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I&rsquo;m scared.
No, not because there&rsquo;s a pandemic going on,
even though that itself is enough
to make one lose their mind.
There&rsquo;s another deadly virus crawling
its way into my whole being.
Slowly eating away at my sanity,
feasting on my thoughts,
mutating inside my head as if a colony of ants was given
an open invitation to a room full of sugary syrup.">
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I&rsquo;m scared.
No, not because there&rsquo;s a pandemic going on,
even though that itself is enough
to make one lose their mind.
There&rsquo;s another deadly virus crawling
its way into my whole being.
Slowly eating away at my sanity,
feasting on my thoughts,
mutating inside my head as if a colony of ants was given
an open invitation to a room full of sugary syrup." />
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<meta name="twitter:description" content="Check it out on Instagram
I&rsquo;m scared.
No, not because there&rsquo;s a pandemic going on,
even though that itself is enough
to make one lose their mind.
There&rsquo;s another deadly virus crawling
its way into my whole being.
Slowly eating away at my sanity,
feasting on my thoughts,
mutating inside my head as if a colony of ants was given
an open invitation to a room full of sugary syrup."/>
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"articleBody": "Check it out on Instagram\n I’m scared.\nNo, not because there’s a pandemic going on,\neven though that itself is enough\nto make one lose their mind.\nThere’s another deadly virus crawling\nits way into my whole being.\nSlowly eating away at my sanity,\nfeasting on my thoughts,\nmutating inside my head as if a colony of ants was given\nan open invitation to a room full of sugary syrup.\nI’m disintegrating.\nFunny how the same thoughts,\nwho once used to tell me there’s an ocean of possibilities out there;\nare slowly drowning me into the same pool,\nreplacing me, devouring me\nbit-by-bit\nas if my feet are tied with stones of expectations\nand I keep swimming to the bottom, mistaking it for the shore.\nSplash. Splash. Splash.\nI see people making art, saving lives, reading books, writing novels,\ncooking food, running home marathons -\nresolving to turn this gloom into resilient happiness.\nAnd I can’t help but feel disgusted\nat my curled up crying self in the bedroom corner,\nstruggling to tell apart midnight from noon.\nWhen I go to the kitchen to make my first\n(and only) meal of the day,\nthe knife shivers, even though my hands are steady\nit fears for the fingers that are too close to the blunt edge,\nfearing that as the layers of onions come apart, the body holding the knife\nwill shed its pretentious layers as well,\nbaring naked the vast void in the center.\nHow many layers will I have to cut\nbefore I find myself again?\nI’m scared to find out.\nBut there’s hope.\nA distant glimmer at the horizon, but it’s there.\nCounting my breath, one step at a time,\ndragging myself through the dark tunnel,\nfollowing the whisper that says\nit gets better.\nit always does.\nit has to.\n A poem penned down during the Coronavirus pandemic. I see people who are struggling with mental health issues which, I can only imagine, would have exacerbated during these times. Take care of yourself, folks. Don’t forget that you matter. A lot.\n",
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<div class="breadcrumbs"><a href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/">Home</a>&nbsp;»&nbsp;<a href="https://thelazyoxymoron.me/posts/">Posts</a></div>
<h1 class="post-title">
Fear
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2020-04-25 23:45:30 +0530 IST'>April 25, 2020</span>&nbsp;·&nbsp;2 min&nbsp;·&nbsp;Siddhartha
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<p>I&rsquo;m scared.</p>
<p>No, not because there&rsquo;s a pandemic going on,<br>
even though that itself is enough<br>
to make one lose their mind.</p>
<p>There&rsquo;s another deadly virus crawling<br>
its way into my whole being.<br>
Slowly eating away at my sanity,<br>
feasting on my thoughts,<br>
mutating inside my head as if a colony of ants was given<br>
an open invitation to a room full of sugary syrup.</p>
<p>I&rsquo;m disintegrating.</p>
<p>Funny how the same thoughts,<br>
who once used to tell me there&rsquo;s an ocean of possibilities out there;<br>
are slowly drowning me into the same pool,<br>
replacing me, devouring me<br>
bit-by-bit<br>
as if my feet are tied with stones of expectations<br>
and I keep swimming to the bottom, mistaking it for the shore.</p>
<p>Splash. Splash. Splash.</p>
<p>I see people making art, saving lives, reading books, writing novels,<br>
cooking food, running home marathons -<br>
resolving to turn this gloom into resilient happiness.<br>
And I can&rsquo;t help but feel disgusted<br>
at my curled up crying self in the bedroom corner,<br>
struggling to tell apart midnight from noon.</p>
<p>When I go to the kitchen to make my first<br>
(and only) meal of the day,<br>
the knife shivers, even though my hands are steady<br>
it fears for the fingers that are too close to the blunt edge,<br>
fearing that as the layers of onions come apart,
the body holding the knife<br>
will shed its pretentious layers as well,<br>
baring naked the vast void in the center.</p>
<p>How many layers will I have to cut<br>
before I find myself again?</p>
<p>I&rsquo;m scared to find out.</p>
<p>But there&rsquo;s hope.<br>
A distant glimmer at the horizon, but it&rsquo;s there.<br>
Counting my breath, one step at a time,<br>
dragging myself through the dark tunnel,<br>
following the whisper that says</p>
<p>it gets better.<br>
it always does.<br>
it has to.</p>
<hr>
<p><strong>A poem penned down during the Coronavirus pandemic. I see people who are struggling with mental health issues which, I can only imagine, would have exacerbated during these times. Take care of yourself, folks. Don&rsquo;t forget that you matter. A lot.</strong></p>
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