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<title>Deference vs. Indifference | Siddhartha Golu</title>
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Deference vs. Indifference There used to be a time
@@ -18,16 +18,16 @@ when I used to love the aroma
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lighting up my day with the secret enchantments,">
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@@ -78,13 +78,13 @@ when I used to love the aroma
of the stick when it burned,
lighting up my day with the secret enchantments," />
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@@ -131,7 +131,7 @@ lighting up my day with the secret enchantments,"/>
"articleBody": "(See this picture on Flickr)\nDeference vs. Indifference There used to be a time\nwhen things used to be simple.\nI’d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,\nAnd pray that He will continue to guide me\nas He had done the previous day.\nThere used to be a time\nwhen I used to love the aroma\nof the stick when it burned,\nlighting up my day with the secret enchantments,\nas if the secrecy itself was the source of my happiness.\nThere used to be a time\nwhen coming home after a bad day,\nI’d sit on my bed and join my hands and close my eyes\nand quietly shed a tear.\nThe statues didn’t move or speak or whisper,\nbut I felt assured that somehow those little stones\nwere the only ones who listened to me\nand answered back.\nBut now,\nI wake up and lie on my bed for hours,\nwatching the fan complete circles after circles after circles,\nas if I was stuck in the middle while everyone else around me\nkept going through life as if it was such an easy task.\nBut now,\nThe smell of the burning stick nauseates my senses,\nthe secret spells make me mad,\nthe constant enchantings feel as if someone lit a person on fire\nwhile they were sleeping.\nBut now,\nwhen I come back home after a bad day,\nto the empty apartment echoing with silence so loud\nI worry my neighbors will start complaining -\nEven crying for hours doesn’t help.\nSometimes I think,\nwhat use is consciousness\nif it doesn’t make you happy but slowly takes away\nwhatever little sanity you had left\nsecond by second.\nSometimes I worry,\nDid I make a mistake in choosing not to follow blindly?\nDoes asking questions that nobody has answers to\nmakes me more alive\nor merely leaves me more broken and naive and stupid?\nIs ignorance really bliss?\nI still go to churches and mosques and temples,\nthe difference being it was deference before,\nand now it’s curiosity about the people who go there\nand indifference to the thing they pray to.\nSometimes I wonder,\nThere really is no answer, is there?\nA poem I wrote when I had troubles accepting myself. Still do, to be honest.\n",
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Deference vs. Indifference
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@@ -358,7 +358,7 @@ There really is no answer, is there?</p>
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