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Deference vs. Indifference There used to be a time
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when things used to be simple.
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I’d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,
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And pray that He will continue to guide me
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as He had done the previous day.
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There used to be a time
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lighting up my day with the secret enchantments,">
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Deference vs. Indifference There used to be a time
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when things used to be simple.
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I’d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,
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And pray that He will continue to guide me
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as He had done the previous day.
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There used to be a time
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when I used to love the aroma
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of the stick when it burned,
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lighting up my day with the secret enchantments," />
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Deference vs. Indifference There used to be a time
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I’d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,
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And pray that He will continue to guide me
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as He had done the previous day.
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There used to be a time
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when I used to love the aroma
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<h1 class="post-title entry-hint-parent">
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Deference vs. Indifference
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</h1>
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<div class="post-meta"><span title='2019-03-15 22:27:30 +0530 IST'>🗓 March 15, 2019</span> · 2 min · 🔖 <a href="/tags/poetry"> poetry</a> · <a href="/tags/writing"> writing</a>
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<div class="post-content"><p><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/160696242@N07/46619008205/">(See this picture on Flickr)</a></p>
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<hr>
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<h2 id="deference-vs-indifference">Deference vs. Indifference<a hidden class="anchor" aria-hidden="true" href="#deference-vs-indifference">#</a></h2>
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<p>There used to be a time<br>
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||
when things used to be simple.<br>
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||
I’d wake up, rub my eyes, sit up straight, close my eyes,<br>
|
||
And pray that He will continue to guide me<br>
|
||
as He had done the previous day.<br>
|
||
There used to be a time<br>
|
||
when I used to love the aroma<br>
|
||
of the stick when it burned,<br>
|
||
lighting up my day with the secret enchantments,<br>
|
||
as if the secrecy itself was the source of my happiness.</p>
|
||
<p>There used to be a time<br>
|
||
when coming home after a bad day,<br>
|
||
I’d sit on my bed and join my hands and close my eyes<br>
|
||
and quietly shed a tear.<br>
|
||
The statues didn’t move or speak or whisper,<br>
|
||
but I felt assured that somehow those little stones<br>
|
||
were the only ones who listened to me<br>
|
||
and answered back.</p>
|
||
<p>But now,<br>
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||
I wake up and lie on my bed for hours,<br>
|
||
watching the fan complete circles after circles after circles,<br>
|
||
as if I was stuck in the middle while everyone else around me<br>
|
||
kept going through life as if it was such an easy task.<br>
|
||
But now,<br>
|
||
The smell of the burning stick nauseates my senses,<br>
|
||
the secret spells make me mad,<br>
|
||
the constant enchantings feel as if someone lit a person on fire<br>
|
||
while they were sleeping.<br>
|
||
But now,<br>
|
||
when I come back home after a bad day,<br>
|
||
to the empty apartment echoing with silence so loud<br>
|
||
I worry my neighbors will start complaining -<br>
|
||
Even crying for hours doesn’t help.</p>
|
||
<p>Sometimes I think,<br>
|
||
what use is consciousness<br>
|
||
if it doesn’t make you happy but slowly takes away<br>
|
||
whatever little sanity you had left<br>
|
||
second by second.<br>
|
||
Sometimes I worry,<br>
|
||
Did I make a mistake in choosing not to follow blindly?<br>
|
||
Does asking questions that nobody has answers to<br>
|
||
makes me more alive<br>
|
||
or merely leaves me more broken and naive and stupid?<br>
|
||
Is ignorance really bliss?</p>
|
||
<p>I still go to churches and mosques and temples,<br>
|
||
the difference being it was deference before,<br>
|
||
and now it’s curiosity about the people who go there<br>
|
||
and indifference to the thing they pray to.</p>
|
||
<p>Sometimes I wonder,<br>
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There really is no answer, is there?</p>
|
||
<hr>
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||
<p>A poem I wrote when I had troubles accepting myself. Still do, to be honest.</p>
|
||
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<section class="webring">
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<h3 class="header">Articles from blogs I follow around the net</h3>
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<section class="articles">
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<div class="article">
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<h4 class="title">
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<a href="https://www.lilysthings.org/blog/discord-dialup/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Dial-up over a Discord Call</a>
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</h4>
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<p class="summary">
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Comments
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</p>
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<small class="source">
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via <a href="https://lobste.rs/">Lobsters</a>
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</small>
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<small class="date">December 22, 2023</small>
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</div>
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<div class="article">
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<h4 class="title">
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<a href="https://www.benkuhn.net/newmgr/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Some mistakes I made as a new manager</a>
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</h4>
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<p class="summary">the trough of zero dopamine • managing the wrong amount • procrastinating on hard questions • indefinitely deferring maintenance • angsting instead of asking</p>
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||
<small class="source">
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||
via <a href="https://www.benkuhn.net/">benkuhn.net</a>
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</small>
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<small class="date">April 23, 2023</small>
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</div>
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<h4 class="title">
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<a href="https://www.joelonsoftware.com/2022/12/19/progress-on-the-block-protocol/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Progress on the Block Protocol</a>
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</h4>
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<p class="summary">Since the 1990s, the web has been a publishing place for human-readable documents. Documents published on the web are in HTML. HTML has a little bit of… Read more "Progress on the Block Protocol"</p>
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<small class="source">
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||
via <a href="https://www.joelonsoftware.com">Joel on Software</a>
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</small>
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||
<small class="date">December 19, 2022</small>
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