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76 lines
2.2 KiB
Markdown
76 lines
2.2 KiB
Markdown
---
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title: "Fear"
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date: 2020-04-25T23:45:30+05:30
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categories: ["Poetry"]
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tags: ["poetry", "writing"]
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cover:
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hidden: false
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image: "images/fear.png"
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draft: false
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---
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[Check it out on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/p/B_Znc5AB_hK/)
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-----------------------------
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I'm scared.
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No, not because there's a pandemic going on,\
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even though that itself is enough\
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to make one lose their mind.
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There's another deadly virus crawling\
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its way into my whole being.\
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Slowly eating away at my sanity,\
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feasting on my thoughts,\
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mutating inside my head as if a colony of ants was given\
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an open invitation to a room full of sugary syrup.
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I'm disintegrating.
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Funny how the same thoughts,\
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who once used to tell me there's an ocean of possibilities out there;\
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are slowly drowning me into the same pool,\
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replacing me, devouring me\
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bit-by-bit\
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as if my feet are tied with stones of expectations\
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and I keep swimming to the bottom, mistaking it for the shore.
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Splash. Splash. Splash.
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I see people making art, saving lives, reading books, writing novels,\
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cooking food, running home marathons -\
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resolving to turn this gloom into resilient happiness.\
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And I can't help but feel disgusted\
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at my curled up crying self in the bedroom corner,\
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struggling to tell apart midnight from noon.
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When I go to the kitchen to make my first\
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(and only) meal of the day,\
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the knife shivers, even though my hands are steady\
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it fears for the fingers that are too close to the blunt edge,\
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fearing that as the layers of onions come apart,
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the body holding the knife\
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will shed its pretentious layers as well,\
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baring naked the vast void in the center.
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How many layers will I have to cut\
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before I find myself again?
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I'm scared to find out.
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But there's hope.\
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A distant glimmer at the horizon, but it's there.\
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Counting my breath, one step at a time,\
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dragging myself through the dark tunnel,\
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following the whisper that says
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it gets better.\
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it always does.\
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it has to.
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-----------------------------------
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A poem penned down during the Coronavirus pandemic. I see people who are struggling with mental health issues which, I can only imagine, would have exacerbated during these times. Take care of yourself, folks. Don't forget that you matter. A lot.
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